Tuesday, 9 August 2011

The 3D Image of Your Gestating Fetus is Creepy

Now, I get that it's exciting when people are pregnant and having kids and such things. I mean, really, it's pretty amazing if you ask me, that whole creating a new life thing. But let's get one thing straight. You can be as excited as you want. You can share all your joys and stories of swollen ankles and gross food cravings with the world if you like, but please, draw the line at sharing those creepy 3D images of your gestating fetus with the world.

Babies in utero look like tadpoles. Tiny, creepy, frogish looking things. I don't need to see that. It only reminds me of my mind numbing fear of reptiles and amphibians. Nor to do I need to see the walls of your uterus. I know that you are excited about the first few photo's of your unborn child, and want to share your excitement with humanity, but really, it's gross. I can guarantee you that no matter how excited people pretend to be when you pull these images up on your phone, out from your wallet, or post them to your facebook, they are actually horrified. They are horrified because you have exposed them to your innards. If I wanted to see what those look like, I would have taken a gross anatomy class in university and not have gone into history. And let's get real. Half the time, you can't even tell what it is you are supposed to be looking at, and believe me, I really don't need you to explain to me where it's hands are, or what the sex of your baby is. If I wanted to know those things, I would ask, and not to see a picture. Leave the pictures for once your kid is born. Leave them for when your kid actually looks like a human being (I am a firm believer that newborn babies look like monkeys...evolution indeed!). Depsite what everyone will tell you, it's not beatiful. It is the farthest thing from beautiful imaginable. It looks like something from the movie Aliens. Not cool.

I have been told that it's a completely different story when it's your own unborn child, but I am a long way off from that. I can tell you right now, that if and when I do have children, I most certainly will not be proudly displaying a creepy picture of my unborn child. First impressions are important, and I, a) don't want people to prematurely judge my child(they can grow up and be judged accordingly), and b) see my insides...it's really just a common courtesy. So please, spare us the pictures of your unborn child, especially when they are in 3D. I didn't like Avatar in 3D and I can guarantee that I don't like your pictures. I would rather see your child when it's at least cute and has been born, and when I can't see your insides. People will thank you for this and won't look at your child as if it is a creature from another planet.

(Photo by Kate Beaton of Hark, A Vagrant)

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