Sharing my story is something that I am more than happy to do. I know some people find it very difficult to talk of their experience with cancer. However, I know that I wish that there had been someone there, or the story of another young woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer, while I was going through it. It is because of this that I am so eager to share my experience. It is not because I want accolades, or to be treated differently. I don't believe that I am owed anything, I just want to help in any way that I can. I am a firm believer that writing down your feelings in a letter is very cathartic. It releases tension and stress and emotions. I am so full of emotions after last night, and I really felt as if I needed to get some things off my (new, government issue) chest. So, I wrote my very own letter to cancer. It is short, sweet, and concise, kind of like me. Here it is:
I am officially standing up to you. You are now my bitch. I am going to make sure that one day you will die a horrible, firey death, with as much pain and sorrow, equal, if not greater, to what you have inflicted on so many innocent people. I am going to make sure that one day, you will cease to exist, and you will be nothing but a terrible memory, that people never think of. From this moment on, I am declaring war on you, and unlike Russia, you don't have the benefit of freezing winters, and a scorched earth policy.
I really don't feel as if I need many words to articulate how I feel about cancer and what it is and can do. So, as a little experiment, I would like to know what you would say to cancer, if given the chance. If you could look it in the eye and tell it what you really feel about it.
When I was first diagnosed I relied heavily on music to get me through. One album in particular was 30 Seconds to Mar's This is War. I listened to that album over and over again. It just had so many songs that just encouraged me to be strong. It remains one of my favorite albums of all time. The song Vox Populi in particular helped me through. It's a battle song, a song to fight cancer with. Perhaps someone can draw strength from it like I did. Plus, Jared Leto is really good looking (when he looks normal that is).