Saturday, 17 September 2011

"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then"

I had an epiphany of sorts last night, at about 2 am, while I was laying in bed, praying for sleep to come and save me from my exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotionally distraught thoughts. It's nothing earth shattering, but for me it kind of puts things into perspective. So here it is:

Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. Sometimes, you are shattered into a million tiny fragments, that are scattered everywhere, and it's all you can do to collect as many pieces as you can and to try and reconstruct who you were. But in the end, you'll never be really whole, or the same. Ever again.

Kind of depressing I know. That's what my brain does when I get stressed and overwhelmed and I just can't handle it. I am sick of the process of everything, and would love nothing more, than to be laying in my bed, sleeping, than sitting here, trying in vain to study while wiping the tears out of my eyes. It's very frustrating trying to work, when your face leaks all over the page. I've gotten used to the feeling of being on the verge of tears.

Sorry.



xoxo
Leah

4 comments:

  1. and it doesn't matter if you think you have all the pieces, all put back in the right place, it still doesn't feel the same. It's like part of the glue that was holding everything together can never be repaired. But it can be modified.

    Hang in there girlie :)

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  2. Aw Miranda,

    You're simply the best! Thank you!

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  3. ... you never have all the pieces:-) It's like the family in Holland putting together a 7,000 piece puzzle, and at the end the dog had eaten one piece that was missing! So you can choose to see the puzzle as a failure... or make a piece that goes in there and have it be an exhibit piece extraordinaire.. with an event, a memory, a history, a purpose... a difference. YOU don't need to worry about the end result of the pieces.. just trust the glue! The magic is in the glue.. it's not about you.. it's about the glue!!! ha ha the glue knows what to do.. but it's a mystery cuz you won't be able to figure it all out. Not even with your brilliant 2X4!!!! hugs

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  4. heh.. I'm remiss if I say you might never find the piece.. and you may need to leave it empty cuz that might be the purpose of the creation!!! You're just the creation.. not the creator!!!

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