Thursday, 1 September 2011

"You objectified me!": Grow Up and Grow a Pair

Fact: reading someone's email without their knowledge, or permission is a serious no-no, not to mention really immature and disrespectful. I really don't think it's acceptable under any circumstances. People don't go around opening each others mail, so why would someone think it's okay to read emails? Just because it's in electronic form doesn't make it okay, regardless of whether it was accidentally left open on a computer. Anyone with a conscience, and good moral character would and should, simply close out of the browser, instead of purposefully being nosy and intentionally seeking information that they are not privy to. If you were supposed to know the information, you would have been told. A good friend of mine was recently involved in a similar situation. She was kind of (and by kind of I should say they went out maybe 4 times) seeing this guy, and accidentally left her email open. He deliberately went through her email, and then proceeded to make her feel bad for what was a private conversation between herself and a friend. To make matters worse, he didn't tell her of his heinous crime until 3 weeks later. 3 weeks of stringing her along, and playing silly little mind games with her, and to make matters worse, he told her about his treachery via text message, and he talked about her on the radio. I suppose this just goes to show that age doesn't equate maturity (he's 28, she's 22). I could understand that if he was questioning her loyalty, and if they had been together for a really long time, how this might be okay, but 4 dates? And even then, it sits in that moral grey area that is so hard to define. Really? Apparently he took issue with some of her sarcastic phrasing (if you know her, you know that she is not an intentionally mean person, is very witty, and can be very sarcastic). He said she objectified him. Objectified? Really? It makes me seriously question if he actually knows the definition of 'objectified'(Objectified,v.: 1.Express (something abstract) in a concrete form, 2.Degrade to the status of a mere object). I somehow don't think so. Last time I checked, thinking someone was awesome, funny, smart and good looking doesn't equate being objectified. Just saying. By reading her emails and then talking about this situation on the radio, he just proves that he has the emotional maturity of a gnat. What is really sad about this whole situation, is that she legitimately liked him. She was so excited and happy to finally be going on dates with someone who seemed so well adjusted and mature. I remember her sitting in my office, after their first date, just beaming about how sweet he was, and how awesome her night had been. I guess she now knows what he is really like. Also, I think it also proves that it is a bad idea to date radio personalities, as they will invariably talk about you on the radio.

Situations like this just really irritate me. I now see my friend upset about this whole situation, because he was not mature enough to discuss things with her. Instead he went through her private correspondence. I am a big fan of communication, because I believe that through communication you build trust. He destroyed any credibility and integrity he had when he willingly sought out her private conversations. I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and this is no exception (plus, I think that's if it's acceptable for him to talk about it on the radio, then it is most certainly acceptable for me to blog about it...ah, formal logic at work!). People should not be made to feel bad for their feelings or opinions, especially if they were private. Reading someone's email is just wrong. People who do things like this are psychotic. Pure and simple. Plus, if the roles were reversed, I am pretty sure he would be upset. It's honestly like he's acting like a teenage girl, being ruled by his excessive estrogen levels rather than reason and logic. Let me offer you this little piece of advice: next time you have an issue with someone, be a grown up, grow a pair and talk to them about it, rather than read through their emails. If you did happen to accidentally read something you weren't supposed to, don't act like a little kid and pout. It's really not attractive.

So, here is the question I pose: is it ever acceptable to read through someone's email? If so, under what circumstances?


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