Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Ladies: Keep Your Heels, Head, and Standards High. Gentleman: Stay Classy

Call me old fashioned, but I like a little romance. You know, when a guy asks out a girl and they go out a few times, and things are classy and cute and he opens doors and really tries to be funny and sweet. Unfortunately, I really don't think this exists anymore. I honestly think that technology has killed romance. What ever happened to the art of wooing? What ever happened to writing love letters and actually going to the post office and sending them? What ever happened to getting flowers just because someone thinks you're kind of cute and kind of awesome?! Seriously?! Facebook happened, and Twitter, and text messaging, and email. All those things combined killed romance. Am I asking for too much here?! I really don't think so. I honestly question what goes through some guys heads when they think they are being smooth. I'm sorry, if you ask me on a date via Facebook message, chances are I am going to laugh at you, and I will not respond. If you don't have the balls to ask me in person, you most certainly don't have the balls needed to actually go on a date with me. I will give anyone who has the guts to ask me out mad props, but only if it's legit. Over Facebook is kind of cowardly if you ask me. Plus, it's a lot easier for me to either say yes, or to let you down if you do it in person, or over the phone. That way I can take away your uncertainty quickly and efficiently, and there are no hard feelings. Also, you can think I am bitch right then and there and get over it a lot faster if the answer is no, rather than thinking I am a bitch forever and holding a grudge because I chose to ignore you. If you can't see me in person, at least call me and ask. None of this text message crap, and if you do make the mistake of asking someone out via text message, follow it up with a phone call to plan said date. Not only is it the polite thing to do, but it's also nice to see if you can actually hold a conversation with the person. The thing with texting and emailing is that people have more time to come up with something clever to say. Not that I am saying I am a genius, but I like to think that I have above average intelligence, and if I can't have a conversation with you, where you can keep up with me, then it's just not going to work. Having a phone conversation means neither of us are wasting our time. I hate wasting my time, and it's nice to know ahead of time if things are going to be awkward. Really, it's just common courtesy. Also, please don't ask me on a date when you are drunk. Chances are you won't remember it and I will have to remind you of it, which could be potentially humiliating for both of us.

Also, I have another bone to pick with some guys. I know that guys like things like boobs and bums and other parts of the female anatomy, but is it really too much to ask that you try to keep your eyes on my face when having a conversation with me rather than my boobs? Yes, I do know that they are fantastic. My plastic surgeon did quite a spectacular job rebuilding them for me, and it was a long road to recovery. I like them probably more than the average person because of what I had to go through to get them. I do appreciate the compliment of you thinking that they are also kind of awesome, but again, my face is a little farther north. Likewise, I most certainly am not wearing any trashy articles of clothing (I am classy and rarely, if ever, wear revealing clothing), nor are my boobs hanging out of my shirt, which makes it that much more obvious that you are trying, and failing, to covertly oggle them. It's nice that you think I look fantastic (again, I work very hard to stay in shape), but there are other fantastic things about me, along with my boobs. My eyes are kind of nice, and I have decent hair and skin, albeit a little pale due to my sun allergy. Gentlemen, if you are going to check out a girl, do it (because no matter how sly you think you are, girls can always tell) and then move on to her face and try to have a conversation with her. Her boobs will not be able to hold a conversation with you.

For the record, I am not some kind of crazy feminist or anything like that. I just like classy gentlemen who are willing to ask me on a date in person, and want to have a conversation with me perhaps over coffee. So gents, next time you pluck up the courage to ask a girl on a date, try to scrape together a little more, and ask her out in person. If that fails, give her a call. Chances are she'll be flattered and say yes. Just saying.


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