If I had the same badass, ninja skills that Jason and Maggie have, I would never again have to deal with the fear of being alone in my own house after watching Criminal Minds. Think about it. If there was some kind of homicidal maniac breaking into your house with the aim of killing you and then mangling your body, you would totally be able to take them down, and you would be a hero because most likely they have killed thousands of other people. You will have saved the world from excessive stabbing! This just makes me wish I had paid more attention in that self defense class my mother made me take when I was like 12. At least that way I would have gained some useful life skills, that maybe would be able to aid me in changing my own tire (seeing as how I would have some serious strength from being such a badass), and would give me an edge if I ever get into a bar fight. Also I think having those skills will aid me in my plans to take over Russia. Just saying.
Watch your backs!
P.S. Thanks to Jeff for being the catalyst!