Sunday, 13 November 2011

Oh Shit, the Sky is Falling!...Wait, False Alarm, That's Just Snow

I was really really really extra hoping that we weren't going to get snow this year. I hate snow. With a passion. Every year I get just a little hopeful, and think that it's not going to snow, and that Edmonton won't turn into Dante's forgotten frozen circle of hell, and every year, I am horribly disappointed. I know some people love the snow. They love snow sports, like skiing and snowboarding and skating and curling (curling is just very confusing for me). They get so excited at the first snowfall because that means that the ski hills can start creating their own snow and that soon the hills will be open. Perhaps if I actually did any of the above mentioned activities I would like snow a little bit more, but the fact of the matter is, I am a complete, and utter clumsy disaster when I walk, and I can only imagine that having my feet strapped to a board of some kind would only end in pain and woe. I bruise very easily, which I have mentioned before, but these sports look like I would most definitely break something if I tried it. I have a friend who went skiing once and broke her femur and she is an experienced and awesome skier. This makes me think that if I were to go skiing or snowboarding, I would probably die. I would fall down and get buried in the snow and then no one would find me until spring, kind of like that movie Vertical Limit that came out in the late '90's about those people who went up on Everest and then they ended up finding their guides wife frozen to death in a glacier....Pretty sure I am going to stick to being inside where it's warm and safe. The only winter sport I will ever take part in is indoor soccer. The closest I ever get to climbing mountains or skiing or whatever in the winter, is sitting in the lounge at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge, sitting by the roaring great fire, and sipping hot chocolate.

I don't like being cold, or wet, and the snow is both. That's strike number two against it (the first strike is that it exists in the first place). Being as little as I am, means I am usually wrapped up in some kind of warm sweater or a flannel shirt, and I am still shivering (kind of like a chihuahua in a sweater). In the winter, I sleep with no less that 5 blankets on my bed with flannel sheets. It's really quite sad. Snow just sucks. It also sucks because it means that I become a paranoid mess (even more so than usual) when I got out to drive somewhere. I love to drive, and I will gladly drive anywhere in the summer, but the minute the snow hits the ground, I become a hermit. I hate icy roads, and the fact that people are assholes who forget that it's winter and that it's a lot harder to stop on a super icy surface. I should also mention that while I do love winter fashions (I love chunky knit sweaters and cute boots), snow and winter are just not conducive to looking cute. I hate how you can have the cutest outfit picked out and then you have to cover it up with a giant parka and Ugg boots (although I will say this. I love my Ugg boots! However, they should not be worn outside of winter and snow, and NEVER with short shorts) in order to stay warm. Say goodbye to wearing cute dresses and heels. Snow is just bad news all around.

In the winter, I can deal with the cold, but it's the snow that gets me. It's one of the main reasons why I am looking at moving away for law school, to someplace like Vancouver where it does snow, but it doesn't stick around for what seems like an eternity, like it does in Edmonton. Hell, I would even take a million consecutive days of rain, if it meant that I never had to see another snow flake. I guess I will just have to continue to hope that we will get a warm snap and that all the snow will melt and that it won't come back for a very long time.

Also, I just thought that I would let you all know that I failed this weekend. Shit. This is shameful...


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