Friday, 25 November 2011

Sh*t That Happened While I Was Away: Time, You're A Sneaky Bastard

Sh*t That Happened While I Was Away: What Fresh Hell is This?!

It's Friday! Thank you baby Jesus. This week marks the end of Hell Week #1 as I have come to affectionately call it. It brings me one step closer to the beginning of Hell Week #2, meaning that all the shit that I didn't do when I was supposed to and left to the last minute is due, AND I have the LSAT (again) next Saturday. That' Maybe. I don't know. All I know is that my life is regimented in hour long segments, and I have spent quite a substantial amount of time calling myself all kinds of names, like idiot, for leaving things to the last minute. I don't know why I am surprised though. It always happens, without fail. I get all my research materials with the good intention of starting early, and then I get complacent, and think to myself "hey, it's October, that paper's not due till December, that's loads of time". And then the end of November hits, and shmabam! I panic and freak out. Time is a sneaky bastard that has a tendency to run out on you.

Anyway, because I have been preoccupied, I am bringing you something that I made up, right this very second, called "Sh*t That Happened When I Was Away". This is also going to happen mostly because I am having a hard time coming up with anything witty at this current juncture in time. So ya. Here you go:

1. Apparently the Canadian Task Force on Preventive Health Care decided that they needed to change the Breast Cancer screening guidelines in Canada. Normally, I would be all for this...if it was a change for the good. Basically they are acting like super villains in some cheesy 1960's comic book and are recommending completely ridiculous things. For example, they are recommending that women between the ages of 40-49 don't need mammograms, that physicians only need to administer breast exams every 2-3 years, and that self checking your breasts is unnecessary. Um, excuse me? Pretty sure a self check saved my life...just saying. If you'd like to see idiocy in action, go here. I did an interview with CTV about how stupid they are. You can go here, to view it. Go to to the CTV news video player and it's the second link from the bottom. Challenging idiots is what I do best. Maybe Probably I'm just a naturally confrontational person.

1.5. Also, I didn't swear. I almost did, but thought better of it. Also, pretty sure people don't want to see a tiny, angry person swearing like she's a raging lunatic on television.

2. I am thinking of joining the Twitter. I should probably qualify this. I have, in the past, railed about how stupid I think Twitter is, mostly because I could quite frankly care less about what someone is doing at any second of the day. I normally just care about what I am doing (kind of selfish? maybe?). Also because I don't really think anyone would want to follow (is that what it's called?) me...but then again one could argue that I didn't really think anyone would read my blog and apparently people do...or at least a couple Russians do, so maybe people would like me on the Twitter as well? But here's the thing. I was asked by my good friends at the ACF to join, so I could talk about this awesome fundraiser that we are having on 24 March called Bust a Move. And this got me thinking. Even though I really don't like Twitter, it is a powerful platform of social media, meaning that I could further disseminate my wit and wisdom all over the interweb (and have another in-road to Russia...seriously, I love Russia...don't ask). Also, it would be for cancer. Well not for cancer, but for me to talk about cancer. And let's be serious, we all know how much I like telling the world that cancer is a real A-hole. I haven't quite decided to take the leap yet, but I am being persuaded to. Damn you peer pressure. This has the potential to either go over very well, or will end up with me saying "let's pretend this never happened". Stay tuned.

3. My books that I wrote for work are finally printed! Two years of blood, sweat and tears went into them and they are finally printed! Now all I have to do is wait for my other 3 books to print! I can see the light at the end of a tunnel. Seriously, like cancer, MS is a real A-hole.

4. Is anyone else as confused about 'Black Friday' as I am? What is it and why does it exist? Is it like the American equivalent of boxing day? I know we get boxing day here in Canada, and in places like Australia, but that's because it is a bank holiday for all us nations who decided to remain part of the commonwealth (I won't get into what I think about the American Revolution, mostly because I think it would really piss people off...I really can't help it that I am a royalist at heart). All I know about Black Friday is that there are some seriously awesome shopping deals going on, and that Canada has decided to kind of adopt it. This is both a very good thing and a very bad thing. Good because I like getting things for cheap, and bad because I like getting things for cheap. I think my dad would probably kill me if I brought home another pair of shoes. All I know is that it took every single ounce of will power that I have not to go to Anthropologie and go shopping today. This is a big deal.

5. I have some awesome news (at least I think it's awesome) that I can't really talk about yet, but I will soon. All I can say is that it has to do with history and my inflated sense of self. I have also given myself 5 gold stars. It's so good that I want to go out and buy myself something pretty (see #4). Must. Have. Will Power. More on this later.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and read all about illegitimacy, bastard's and the London Foundling Hospital in the eighteenth century. This is also probably why I have used "bastard" several times in this post. Oops?



  1. Black Friday is the day where people go bat shit crazy over the "deals" in all the stores, when they can buy the same crap cheaper during the year... People get shot, beat up, etc. In a town about 15 mins away some lady decided to pepper spray a bunch pf people over some toys. It's a great day to be an American... *facepalm*
    Please don't adapt this.

    Don't do it! Twitter is of the devil!

    Congrats on the books! Not planning on getting breast cancer but never say never (damn you Bieber!) Could be an interesting to read since it's is always a possibility, especially in my fam...

    Bastard is a safe word. No worries!

  2. Well Sparks,

    I don't judge the black friday-ness. I have gone shopping on boxing day at West Edmonton Mall before, and it's basically the same thing, but minus the pepper spray and excessive violence. I think it's because of some stereotype that all Canadians are polite? Whoever came up with that one obviously never met me...

    See Twitter may be of the devil, but I'm pretty sure that cancer is also of the devil and worse. Still deciding, but I may become a sell out very shortly. We'll see.

    Also, 5% of breast cancer diagnoses every year are to men with breast cancer. You should always check your boobs. For reals.

    Also, I find that as the semester comes to a close my language gets worse and worse. I may have to give up swearing, but it might lead to drugs, or more shoes. We'll see

  3. I was actually the one who recommended that self checking be removed from the breast cancer screening guidelines. This may have been a little self serving since I freelance as a preliminary breast examination consultant.

    Seriously ladies, you want someone to examine your breasts, drop me a line.

  4. Rishi!!!

    Did you know that many doctors actually advocate women's husbands and boyfriends to check the breasts of the women in their life?! Apparently it has something to do with how they would be more likely to notice an irregularity than a woman because she gets to feel herself up all the time! I actually kind of think this is genius. Just saying! Just another excuse for men to cop a feel!