Thursday, 22 December 2011

The Big C Part VII: Bigger Scars Make for Better Stories

I long for the days when I didn't spend substantial amounts of time in hospitals. Those days were awesome. I got to spend time at the hospital again today. Because you know, all I wanted for Christmas was for my surgeon to cut into my back with a scalpel. Gee thanks Santa! How did you know that I needed that syringe full of local anesthetic?! You shouldn't have!? I don't know what's shittier, the fact that I was up at an ungodly hour to go to the hospital, the fact that I am used to being cut into, or the fact that I am being cut into 3 days before Christmas. Pretty sure that the shitastic combination of the three makes for a whole boatload of holiday cheer, and by holiday cheer I mean, puts me in a right foul mood. On the plus side, I did get to yell at people, and that always cheers me up. Nothing drives me crazier than bitchy nurses who are condescending and patronizing. I'm sorry, I know I may look like a child, but I'm not. Don't tell me that I need to calm down because I am upset. I wasn't upset until you decided to be a giant bitch...with bad hair and really hideous Christmas sweater. You can take your ward and shove it lady. I hope me being an asshole today doesn't put me on any kind of metaphorical or literal naughty list. The one thing I know I can count on though, that no matter how much of an asshole I can be, cancer will always be a bigger one. Bigger scars make for better stories...


No comments:

Post a Comment