Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Muesday: Do Not Feed the Wildlife

I sit here writing this looking out the front windows of the cabin, at the frozen lake and the mountains that shadow it. I am in Jasper! I haven't been in a very long time and I had forgotten how truly beautiful and magnificent the Rocky Mountains are. It's a nice little getaway, albeit, a short one. This is the scene I hope to set for you all as I explain why staying at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge is actually like camping for me.

I have never been camping before. The closest I have ever come to camping was this one time when I was like 11 when we stayed in a condo in Panorama and we had to cook for ourselves. I have never had the, ahem, pleasure(?) of sleeping in a tent, or bathing in some kind of lake. I do own a sleeping bag, but mostly for necessity when I was younger and attended slumber parties of sorts. Mostly I keep it around for when I venture out to a friends cabin, or for when the Zombie apocalypse hits and because I think that when this happens that I will need it. Now, because I have no life skills, and also because I am allergic to life, staying at the Jasper Park Lodge and pretending that it is the same thing as camping works just fine for me. I can be outside and enjoy the beauty of one of Canada's most beautiful national parks, and at the same time, have someone bring me a nice steaming latte while I listen to a pianist play "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" on the baby grand piano in the lobby while I sit in front of the fire and read (I just finished "The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern, and holy crap, everyone needs to go out and buy and read it! It's amazing! I haven't come across a book that good in a really long time!). In my personal opinion it's a win-win situation. But I will admit, that sometimes I wonder what I am missing. I remember when my friends would go camping with their families when we were younger, and how much fun they would have and all the stories they would tell when they got back. Sometimes I have delusions of grandeur and I think "hey, I think I am going to try this whole camping thing out, one time at least". Then I start thinking about how leaving my house in the morning usually results in some kind of allergy attack, and then I think about how things in nature give me hives, and also about how I have no sense of direction, or life skills, meaning that I have no business being in the wilderness and that I would probably set fire to it due to the fact that I wouldn't know how to work a camp stove. No joke. Picture it: me, covered in red welts, sneezing like a mad person, trying to get a fire started in some remote corner of god only knows because I am horribly lost, and then I would probably set fire to some pristine environment, and the only way I would be saved would be because a helicopter mistook a raging brush fire for smoke signals. I think I am doomed/blessed to live the life of a city girl. Doomed because I will never know the potential joy of camping. By blessed I mean that mother nature would be blessed because she wouldn't have to worry about me being unleashed upon unsuspecting flora and fauna populations.

I know for a fact that if none of the above happened, I would probably cause nature harm by feeding the wildlife. They take that shit seriously in a national park. Apparently it's "unlawful". Whatever that means. Go figure.

Because I am feeling particularly patriotic at the moment (which never happens, and by patriotic, I mean because I am in a Canadian national park) I am going to continue to share Canadian music. Today I give to you "A Little Bit of Red" by Serena Ryder, who is from Toronto. I really dig her sound. She has that raspy, rocker sound that reminds me of music from a time when auto-tune didn't exist (I seriously think it's the bane of the music world). So, enjoy "A Little Bit of Red", from her album Is It O.K.



This is the last Muesday of 2011. Maybe 2012 will feature something new. Who knows. Until then...

xoxo
Leah

2 comments:

  1. I went camping once. Oh, how I prayed for the zombie apocalypse then.

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  2. Nellie,

    Was it really that bad?! Holy! I think I may never camp...ever! Alsp, Happy New Years!

    xoxo
    Leah

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