Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Muesday: Face Meet Palm. Also, Guy Fieri Needs to Change His Hair

I am nothing short of a hot, disastrous mess at life and I have spoken many times of the fact that I have no life skills. I'm all book smarts. Baby Jesus and good genes gave me a decent brain that has the ability to critically think and pull out random historical/political/whatever facts at parties. You need me to write you a 15 page paper discussing the impact of colonialism and industry on an indigenous economy by Thursday? No problem. You want me to transcribe those court documents from 1561 that really just look like squiggly lines with maybe an inappropriate stick drawing in the margins? I've got you covered. But when it comes to actually surviving in the real world I fail (and yes I know that this sounds very redundant to other posts I have done before, but I swear it's slightly-ish different). I am so much a failure that I can't even remember to check to see if what I am eating has something in it that could potentially kill me. Case in point: There were some lovely cookies sitting on the counter at work for the staff to enjoy and as I was making myself a delicious steaming mug of David's Tea, I thought to myself., "that half a cookie looks delicious and would make the perfect addition to your mid-morning snack". So I picked it up and started to enjoy it, not paying attention to the fact that my lips and tongue were starting to swell uncomfortably, until the very last bite when I bit into an almond. Yes, the girl with the nut allergy was too stupid think that these cookies had nuts, and decided to play Russian roulette with her life and eat it. A little bit of panic mixed with a face palm and a bendryl was the next order of business. I even went so far as to mention it to a friend who also has a pretty severe nut allergy (let me tell you, it makes trying to find places to eat a real adventure when we go out), and he was pretty concerned. He asked if I had my epipen. The answer: carrying around an epipen would be the smart, responsible, adult thing to do. Of course I didn't have my epipen. So I suffered uncomfortably all day. I've also learned a very valuable lesson. No, it's not carry an epipen around with me like my doctor wants me to, it's to not eat the cookies with the nuts in them (hey, baby steps...don't judge me. I can only handle being and adult for small periods of time). Now that I think about it, this is kind of like that time I was allergic to halloween. I really need to look into getting that bubble to live in.

On another slightly unrelated, but not entirely, note, I am obessesed with the Food Network. You'd think that a girl who can barely boil water, and who is probably the pickiest eater in the entire world, would not really take a liking to the Food Network. But I love it. It makes me want to learn to cook, but only for a minute, because I remember that it takes time, and patience, and you kind of have to like it. These are three qaulities I do not possess. Also, watching these shows makes me not want to be a vegetarian. Watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives really gives me a craving for a pulled pork sandwhich and a burger, neither of which I have ever had in my entire life. But they look delicious and Guy Fieri really seems to enjoy them...although, I'm pretty sure he won't enjoy the quadruple bypass I am almost certain he will need in the probably not so distant future. Can I also just say that he needs to really change his hair? Last time I checked he wasn't part of the Backstreet Boys circa 1999. Just saying...

Anyway, for today's Muesday I am sharing with you a song from the new Brandi Carlile album. It's brand spanking new out today, and I don't feel as if I have listened to it thoroughly enough to give an in depth, informed opinion. BUT, from my cursory listens it's pretty amazing. Classic singer/songwriter with just the right amounts of grass roots rock and roll, with perhaps just a tinge of blue grass? Anway, I really love what I have listened to so far, so I hope you all enjoy Hard Way Home off her new album Bear Creek.

Also, listening to her new album makes me really sad that I couldn't get tickets to Folk Fest. Damn those Folkies are bat shit crazy! Like legit crazy about their folk music. I also just kind of wanted to see the crazy old as the dawn of time hippies. Oh well. There's always next year.

Happy Muesday!



  1. I had no idea you are allergic to nuts. I can't even imagine what that must be like. Pretty expensive, I am sure. Every time I buy a product that states its free of the most common food allergies, it's incredibly expensive.

  2. I am allergice to life. For real. The nut one is brutal, and it's not that expensive. I just have to look at all the ingredients. Also, it's a good thing I don't do the grocery shopping. I think that I will actually die if I was left alone.