Monday, 7 January 2013

Maybe Today is the Day I Get Booked for Aggravated Assault

Do you want to know what kind of day it is? It's a "might get arrested for aggravated assault with golf clubs" kind of day. Honestly! Let's use our critical thinking skills people and problem solve! God gave you a brain with the ability to figure shit out, so use it! He also gave you eyes so you can read those emails I sent before emailing me 5 million times asking me something that I answered in said emails. Those eyes are also really great at looking at things properly to avoid me wanting to punch in you in face from your stupid questions. As you can probably tell, I have very little patience for idiots, and today was filled with idiots who need to have their hands held.

Anyway, I'm sure you all know what kind of mood I'm in now. How do you think I'm choosing to combat this sudden onslaught of extra bitchiness? I'm re-watching Lord of the Rings for the umpteenth time. I loved the books as a kid and having recently seen The Hobbit on a date night with my daddy, I decided that it was high time to watch the movies again. And now I remember what frustrates me about these movies. No it's not things Peter Jackson omitted, or took liberties with. It's the simple fact that Frodo Baggins is the most annoying little fucker I have ever watched on screen. I'm not even kidding. Please tell I'm not alone here. He's even annoying in the books. I remember that I would always read through the parts with Sam and Frodo as fast as I could, and with as little annoyance as I could, to get to the meatier and quite frankly, more entertaining parts. The same is goes for the movies. I just sit there and hope that the little Sam and Frodo moments don't last forever, and make me consider violence. I mean how many times does Frodo almost fuck it up for everyone?! How many times does he put that stupid ring on even though he knows its a bad idea, and even though some super powerful magical wizard says not to. I mean, he lacks common sense and is such a useless, helpless little asshole, who can't do anything for himself. If Sam had been smarter he would have just said "see you later loser" and go back to gardening. Again, I have very little patience for idiots, and in my books, Frodo Baggins is a Class A idiot. Also, the Steward of Gondor is an asshole. Just saying. Perhaps these aren't the best movies to be watching when particularly irritated.

Anyway, I'm going to leave you all with something  awesome before I actually end up putting my foot in my mouth and enrage the Nerds, Geeks, and Dorks of the world. Please don't be hating! I am also a nerd etc.

Remember Walk Off the Earth, that awesome band I shared with you all a few weeks back. Well they did it again. Like their incredibly cool cover of Somebody I Used to Know, they have now covered Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble. It's simply awesome, so enjoy.

Later days lovlies!


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