Thursday, 24 January 2013

Thanks for the Christmas Present. Sorry You Got Elbowed in the Head by Dusty Rhodes

My Gentleman is pretty swell. Ew affection. It's gross I know. But it's true. He puts up with all my bullshit and the fact that I am most definitely not the grown up in our relationship, and he buys pretty awesome presents. I am of course referring to that time he bought me tickets to The Tragically Hip for Christmas because he knows that they are one of my all time favourite bands in the history of ever. He even came with me to said concert, even though he's not that big of a fan. His musical leanings are more towards to British hipster variety, like The XX (which is basically hipster make out music and every song sounds the same), Richard Hawley, The Arctic Monkey's and a whole slew of other bands and artists that I have never heard of. So he really took one for the team when he came with me to The Hip concert last night. And I give him mad props for what he endured just so I could listen to all of my most favourite songs.

Concerts are always interesting, and one of the best places to people watch, which leads to one of my favourite activities: judging people. I basically got a million shows for the price of one. What I mean is, that the people around us made it just so...memorable? First, there was the redneck family sitting behind us, who decided to bring what I can only assume were their freshly legal children. The son complained the entire time that he hated drinking beer because it's gross, and that the line ups for the other liquors were just too damn long. Then you had the parents who couldn't go for 2 hours without what had to be 5 cigarettes. To top it all off, the father complained loudly for the majority of the concert that "this was the worst concert ever!" and that they "needed to play the classics". I'm sorry sir, but you are a moron. They played almost all of their hit songs, with only a handful from their new album. It was their loss at the end of the night as they left at the beginning of Blow at High Dough, and they missed the enitre encore which included both Courage and Little Bones.  While listening to the rednecks was entertaining enough, then there was the woman beside me who was shocked and horrified that they sounded different from their studio produced albums. I too remember my first concert, where I came to the same horrifying realization. It was a sad moment that will haunt me forever. I'm sorry, but if you're too dumb to realize that of course a band is going to take some creative liberties with their live shows, and not play a cookie cutter version of their album, then you shouldn't be there. She was entertaining because every time a new song would start and Gord Downie would start singing, she would sigh and slap her forhead and just be so disappointed. It was hilarious.

I have of course saved the best for last. The man that my lovely Gentleman had to put up with all night. This guy was not a small man by any stretch of the imagination, and was probably in his 50's or 60's. He first stood out because he was dressed in a Canadian Tuxedo (if you don't know what that is go here) and an Edmonton Oilers hat. I bet you're thinking, so what? He was just a guy trying to enjoy some music in a comfortable outfit made entirely of denim. And you'd be 100% correct. What made this man even more memorable were his dance moves and the fact that he was an exact replica of Dusty Rhodes. The only way I can describe it is to ask you all to imagine a walrus having a seizure. There was also headbanging. I won't lie, there were points of the evening where I thought that this guy needed medical attention. Of course the Boy thought this was hilarious. So funny in fact that there were parts of the evening were I had to stop singing along because I was beside myself with the giggles because I saw him laughing. Then, I believe it was at the end of Eldorado, that this Dusty Rhodes doppleganger realized that his pants were slipping precariously off his ass, and decided to pull them up in the most violent fashion I have ever seen. Again, so what? Well, not even 20 seconds before the Boy turned to me and said he was probably going to get elbowed in the head. And that's exactly what happend. In his attempt to prevent a serious case of plumbers crack,  he full out elbowed my Gentleman in the head. I feel kind of bad because I laughed. This probably makes me a bad girlfriend. I just couldn't help myself. Even funnier was that the guy was like "oh sorry man" and continued to pull up his pants in the same violent way.

All in all it was a really good night. Thanks for the Christmas present. Sorry you got elbowed in the head by Dusty Rhodes.

Until next time lovlies.


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