Monday, 3 June 2013

Do All the Things, or Do None of the Things: A Vicious Cycle

Sometimes I just don't know what I am doing with my life. One minute I'm like, "maybe I'll do this thing", which lasts for all of 5 minutes, and then I'm like, "no, this thing is the thing I want to do", and then you  have people telling you that you should do things A, B, and C, and it's all just so confusing and circuluar, that by the end of it, the only thing you want to do is sit on the couch, not wearing pants, and watching re-runs of Maury Povich (because watching the train wrecks that are other peoples lives makes it better, doesn't it?). Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be all, and do all the things for everyone and everything that I can't deal. Usually when this happens I get weird and intorverted and shut down and binge watch my favourite television shows instead of doing all the responsible adult things that I am supposed to be doing. This makes people like my lovely Gentleman worry about me and ask me if I'm fibbing when he asks if everything is fine. And technically it is fine, except for the fact that I can't seem to get my shit together. It's very counter-productive to being a functioning member of society. On the one hand, I'm afraid to miss out on anything and disappoint myself, and on the other I am afraid to disappoint the people around me. But then I think that all that matters is that I am happy doing the things that I do, and screw what everyone else thinks or expects me to do, and then I feel bad for thinking that. See, it really is just one giant, vicious cycle that you can't escape.

Come on Leah, get it together.

2 comments:

  1. The best sister3 June 2013 at 14:01

    Just go watch Beautiful People and your life will be complete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have no idea how hilarious this is. I have been giggling to myself for about 5 minutes. This makes me look insane. You really are the best sister!

      Delete