Monday, 22 July 2013

Call Centres: Another Circle of Hell

Two words: F*ck. You.

Hi Duckies,

I sit here and write you this as I am on the phone with Apple, and by on the phone I mean, waiting and listening to sub-par music and some automated mans voice that is telling me to be patient and wait for an adviser. You know what, maybe I would have more patience if you actually made your products compatible with each other, and  better yet, if your wunderkind program that is iTunes, didn't have so many goddam problems. Was it not just a mere 3 weeks ago when one of your poor employees felt my wrath because your shitty program wasn't actually downloading the album that I wanted? But wait, you still charged me for it. Going back and forth with some poor kid from God knows where was irritating, but not as irritating as listening to this shit. Seriously, I get that "all Apple advisers are still busy". No shit Sherlock. If they weren't I would obviously be talking to one by now instead of listening to dead air, which has replaced whatever crap they were playing. You know, if your shit actually worked properly I wouldn't have this problem. I would be calmly listening to all the new music that I have, instead of having to restore my iPod because no matter what I do, it won't show up on my actual iPod. And again, I've been charged for this. Next it's telling me that about 100 or songs that I purchased cannot be found. Isn't that just awesome. Something that I have bought and paid for is no longer in my possession. What a complete fucking joke. Get your shit together Apple, you're drunk. Go home, or back to Cupertino and fix yourself up. Have a cup of coffee and get your heads out of your asses.

Call centres were designed to bring a circle of hell to earth. Designed by some ungodly creature, who thought they would be helpful, they actually create mayhem and destruction. Usually by the end of a call centre call, one is left feeling discouraged and filled with rage, wanting to smash the closest breakable thing into a billion little pieces. This is how I am already feeling and I haven't even spoken to whatever useless twit that will take my call.

Oh wait! Can it be! A human voice! Good lord! That took forever. And he's a mumbler. Great, just great. Well duckies, wish me luck. or should I say, wish him luck? If I could I would reach through the phone, grab him by the collar, and yell "enunciate!" I have a feeling that I'm in for a frustrating night!


P.S. I'm sorry that I've neglected everyone. I know I've promised it multiple times, but this time is different (this is actually a whole other post). I'm back now.

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