Friday, 2 August 2013

Is This Supposed to be a Joke?

Dear Relient K:

I have a question for you: is your new album Collapsible Lung supposed to be a joke? I have three words to describe my feelings when I first heard it. What. The. Fuck? What have you done?!

Gone are the clever lyrics and actual music, played by actual people, playing real instruments. You've replaced all your hard work with electronic drum beats and a boy-band-esque sound. I should point out that you are not Justin Bieber (thank god),  nor are you One Direction (again, thank god). Your new album is ridiculous and not in the good way that, The Anatomy of Tongue in Cheek, and Two Lefts Don't Make a Right... But Three Do, was. It is devoid of any real musicality, or emotion. It's terrible, and it really saddens me.

You have undone all the work and progession that you put into Mmhmm, Five Score and Seven Years Ago, and Forget and Not Slow Down. I was so excited to listen to your new album. Forget and Not Slow Down was so good, and it was the one album I listened to over and over again throughout my cancer treatment and surgeries. Your lyrics resonated with me, and I so hoped that you would come out with something that was just as good, if not better. Instead, what I heard made my heart hurt. You talk about "hoodies in my car", with music that sounds like something Bruno Mars would come out with (and that's not a compliment). Why are you trying to be something that you're not? I understand that bands and artists need to evolve over time and that tends to change their sound. You proved that when you came out with Mmhmm. It was exciting to listen to because everything after that showed a real maturity. It seemed like you were more interested in putting out good music, and less interested in appealing to 13 year olds, and being main stream, top 40 artists. But your new album doesn't embody that progression. If anything, its a devolution. You are regressing, and that's really sad. I understand that people change, and that the band is going through some changes at the moment, however, that doesn't mean that you had to sell your musical souls to the autotune and electronic back beat gods. I'm just so utterly and truly disappointed, and I question whether you have the ability to redeem yourselves after producing this disastrous album.

I think the my main issue is that I don't understand why you put out this album? Is it part of an elaborate set up, in which you release the actual album and yell "Got you!" on all your fans who question how you could have produced the mess that is Collapsible Lung? Or, do you actually believe that it's a solid album and that it's what your fans wanted to hear? I certainly hope it's the former and not the latter. This album is insulting to both your fans and to the music industry. It's with a heavy heart that I skip over almost every single song on your new album with the exception of Don't Blink, which I think is its only redeeming quality.

All I can hope for is that you take a long hard look at your future, and hopefully come to the realization that you fucked up in releasing this, and that you go back to Relient K we all know and love.


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