Monday, 31 October 2011

Muesday: In Which My Ridiculous Obsession with Snowed In is Discussed

Anyone who knows me at least semi-well, knows that I LOVE Christmas! Today is November 1, which means that I am one step closer to the most glorious and wonderful time of the year. It also means that I can start listening to Christmas music without being judged too harshly, because I know for an absolute fact that there are people out there exactly like me. I just can't help it. Christmas is wonderful. I love the way everything looks, and smells, and how people are generally not assholes to each other because they have that Christmas spirit (at least until December 23, when people lose their minds and the ability to think rationally about anything because they have left all their Christmas shopping to the last possible second and are left with the reject leftover items to purchase...kind of like if you were shopping at Etsy). I also love it because my birthday is the week before Christmas, which usually means that my December is filled with many presents. But it's the Christmas music that brings me the greatest amounts of joy! November 1 is always the day that I go into my itunes, go to my Christmas Compilations playlist and check those little boxes that have been unchecked for quite some time. It's actually one of my favourite things to do. But, the most exciting part about it all is that I get to listen to Hanson's Christmas album, Snowed In. I remember being like 11 and getting this album for my birthday, at the height of my love for Hanson. I remember listening to it over and over and over again, just loving it. As I got older, I realized that my love for Hanson was slightly shameful, but I refused to bow down to peer pressure. Listening to Hanson Christmas is basically like the icing on the cake for me. I just love it. Basically what this whole post, or at least a substantial part of it, boils down to is my love for Hanson. Please feel free to judge me accordingly, because I won't notice or really care, because I will be too busy listening to the dulcet sounds of Zac, Taylor and Isaac singing O Holy Night and their rendition of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. I freely welcome your judgment.

But don't worry folks, I won't make you listen to Hanson Christmas (yet). It's still a little premature to share Christmas music over the interweb. I mostly think this because I am absolutely certain that my friends would stage a Hanson intervention, or a lynch mob would show up at my door, because I would inevitably be blamed for making it snow (snow happens people, deal with it) by inflicting Hanson on the masses. Today I am going to share another Canadian band with you. The Rural Alberta Advantage are from my home province, and are absolutely spectacular. I stumbled across them some time ago, and I promptly shared them with all my friends/anyone who has a shred of musical taste. I know that I have previously shared a song titled Edmonton, by Rose Cousins, but this is totally different, I promise. Edmonton, by The Rural Alberta Advantage, is an homage to my home town, and I think captures what Edmonton is perfectly. Also, it's true that if you stare at the lights at the Leg, everything is purple after. So enjoy Edmonton (I never thought I would actually say that...)!

Gone away again
From this Alberta pen
And I will never try
To forget your northern eyes


Sunday, 30 October 2011

In Which My Allergies to Halloween Are Discussed

My costume should have been a large bubble...

I have a love-hate relationship with Halloween. I love it because all that food and candy that is bad for you is mini sized, which means that I can indulge and not feel bad. I hate it because I really just don't like dressing up. I hate having to think of costume ideas, and I inevitably leave it to the last minute. I don't know if this is a "me getting older" type deal, or whether I am actually just over Halloween.

I remember being so excited for Halloween when I was little(r). My grandma would always make me some kind of kick ass costume (Pocahontas, a Puppy, Snow White, etc) and I would love going door to door with my dad, and my friends when I was older. I remember running around the neighbourhood like little hooligans, trying to see how much sugary goodness we could stuff into our pillowcases, and how much we could actually ingest before we made it home, where our parents would then have to deal with our monstrous sugar highs. I remember that my dad, would look over my candy with his critical eye for what seemed like forever, before I was given the go ahead to eat any of it (seriously, I blame my childhood for my germophobic tendencies and allergies).  But as the years went on, and I got older, and probably more cynical, I just don't have that same love for Halloween.

Every year my friends and I have something we call Chadoween. It's basically a huge Halloween/Birthday party for my good friend Chad. Chadoween usually includes a fairly sizable house party, with a DJ, dancefloor, lightshow and fog machine. It also has all of my favourite people in one place getting spectacularly messy, and doing silly things, that they don't remember, which I then, oh so kindly, remind them about. Usually people stuff themselves into costumes made for 3 year olds, or come as group of people (like team Tom Cruise). It's always a good time. Normally, I have a costume figured out at least a week beforehand, but this year, I dropped the ball. I had no idea what I was going to do, and it doesn't help that I was extremely lazy and apathetic about the whole dressing up thing. I thought of a really awesome costume way last minute that I could have never pulled off, so I shelved it for next year, and went as a Mob Wife instead. It's no secret that I have an intense love for really bad reality television. Mob Wives is one of my new favourites. It's like The Real Housewives of New Jersey, meets the Jersey Shore, except there is more fur, prison, death and mobsters. Seriously, it's amazing, and the cat fights are UNREAL! I literally came up with my costume at 8pm last night. I think it was a) the least amount of effort I have ever put into a Halloween costume, and b) the most expensive Halloween costume I have ever worn, with out having spent a dime. All it took was a fur coat. A vintage white fox fur coat to be more specific. It was amazing, and generously loaned to me. I was so excited because I thought it was a genius plan! I looked cute, and was wearing thousands of dollar worth of fur (I'm just glad I didn't run into any nutjobs from PETA last night...pretty sure I would have had red paint all over me if I had), and I put in zero effort! But, I made one crucial mistake last night, in that, upon assuming my Mob Wife alter ego, I figured I was invincible...kind of like if I actually had the full force of the mob behind me. I forgot about all the dangers that I faced...until I realized that I was allergic to my genius costume.

I am the only person I know who would choose a costume, think it's awesome, and then be allergic to it. I don't know why I thought that my allergies would be okay, considering contact with most animals leaves me too serious for numbers sick. I figured that since said animals were dead and had been made into a lovely coat, I would be good to go. Not the case (which just goes to show you how much I know about real life). I mean, the thought that I might be allergic to the coat crossed my mind as I was driving with my friend to the party. We even discussed it because she was wearing my grandmothers mink fur coat, and we thought we were ballin' (we actually had some serious beats happening and were garnering really funny looks from other cars). But, I put those thoughts out of my mind, determined to have a good Chadoween. It wasn't until I started sneezing like a madwoman, and until a friend pointed out the large red welty hives on my arms that I realized I was, in fact, allergic to my Halloween costume. Next came the inability to breathe properly. That was awesome. My costume left me uncomfortable and wheezy. So what did I do? Instead of taking off the coat like a normal person, I left it on and went dancing instead. I was dedicated to my character, don't judge me!

This whole incident just adds to the long list of reasons as to why I don't really like Halloween. I'll take Christmas any day. It also has me reconsidering my takeover of Russia, as in my mind, there are a lot of fur coats in Russia.


Friday, 28 October 2011

Happy Cancerversary to Me!

Two years. Two years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It seems like forever ago, and yesterday at the exact same time. It's a very strange feeling. My life is completely, 100% different than what it was, and what I thought it would be, but you know what? I wouldn't change a single thing. If I had the chance to go back and to change things, I wouldn't. I would let things happen the exact same way that they did. I remember this day so clearly. It was, and is still the worst day of my life, but it's also a good day (at least now) at the same time. I remember what I wore (Seven for All Mankind jeans, a flannel shirt from Aritzia, my flowered mocassins), what I talked about with my surgeon  when she was doing my biopsy (our mutual love of Muse), the quilt on the wall at the Cross when I was told. I remember my best friend crying, and feeling too numb to think clearly. I remember that my sister was my saving grace that day. I remember crying at the thought that I had to leave school. I remember having to tell my parents. I remember sitting on the couch, watching bad TV with my sister and feeling sorry for myself. I remember all the uncertainty and tests and surgeries. Despite all these bad memories, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it because of what I learned about myself, my friends and my family. The lessons that I learned are probably the most valuable things that I have been given. I have been given a second chance to be a better person. Cancer does not define who I am, but it has become a part of who I am.

People are always kind of confused as to why I chose to celebrate this day. I know a lot of people who would rather forget, and I know that there are people out there who disagree with me and think that I shouldn't celebrate. But I celebrate because it's a way for me to take away from the bad and sadness that this day represents. It's a way for me to be thankful that I had the team of people that I had around me. I have to celebrate it. If I didn't I know for an absolute fact that I would be angry and sad, and I just see that as being so counterproductive to everything. There is no point in being angry and upset about something that is in the past. History has taught me that. You can try to understand it, but at the end of the day, you have to take each day for what it is and was, and keep moving forward.

So, I choose to celebrate this day, and yes, I understand that it's weird. But hey, I'm a weird person. So I am going to go and get a cupcake with pink icing and celebrate my two year cancerversary!


Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Muesday: I Need Adult Supervision At All Times...Oh Wait...

I need adult supervision at all times. One would think that at 25 I wouldn't need to be looked after by an adult, but whoever thinks that would be oh so very wrong. If I am not being supervised bad things happen. Case in point, I was asked to do things in the kitchen last night, more specifically, asked to cut vegetables. With a knife. Now, first off, just for everyone's safety, I should be chaperoned just stepping into the kitchen, and should be kept away from sharp objects at all times. Unfortunately, my father forgot this, and handed me a parring knife and told me to start chopping. So I did. Then I started bleeding. Either I am very extremely clumsy, or my mum's new set of knives have an insatiable thirst for human blood that can only be achieved by violence and stabbing...I am going to go with the latter. Needless to say, I was quickly ushered out of the kitchen, and not asked to return. This is why I will fail in the real world. I can't even use a knife without some kind of disaster or (almost) dismemberment ensuing. Now my manicure is uneven. Oh first world problems.

This is what happens when I am left unattended, and people forget the rules
Also, I just realized I look jaundiced...that's...interesting...

Enough about my low threshold for pain and onto some music!

So for anyone living under a stupid rock, the new Coldplay album Mylo Xyloto was released yesterday. I don't know about everyone else, but holy shit-balls I love it! I can't get enough of it. The entire album has been on repeat as of 830 yesterday morning, where instead of being on time for work, I sat at my computer to download it (my reasoning was that the album would get me through the day, which it did, so I see my (almost constant) lateness for everything as acceptable...just let me have it). Surprisingly, one of my favourite songs is Princess of China featuring Rihanna. This is surprising because I absolutely can't stand Rihanna in any way, shape or form (does she not know that that shade of red is not natural looking?! The last time I saw someone, or should I say something with hair that colour it was Ariel from the little mermaid...just saying). However, I think this song is genius! It's just the right amount of different, and not too much of Rihanna and her annoying voice. Likewise, Hurts Like Heaven is also top in my list of favourites...but let's be serious, the whole album is my favourite. I just find this album so incredibly different from any of their other albums, and I like LOVE it. It's quite refreshing! If you haven't gone out and acquired this album yet, you need to. It's amazing and totally worth spending your money on.

Now that I have you all excited about Coldplay, let me throw a giant bucket of cold water on you to cool your jets. You need to experience the amazingness that is Coldplay for yourselves. I am going to continue to share wonderful Canadian music with everyone (at least until my list of favoured Canadian bands runs out). Today I give you a little band out of Regina, Saskatchewan. They are called Rah Rah. I had to opportunity to see them when the opened for Minus the Bear about a year and a half ago. I just love their chill feel. I give to you today Duet for Emmylou and the Grievous Angel, by Rah Rah. Enjoy!

Also, sorry that there isn't an actual video, but this way, you get the music in pure form and won't be distracted by pretty colours and shiny things (something that happens to me quite often I am afraid).


Monday, 24 October 2011

Proof That People ACTUALLY Listen To Me!

Oh. My. Goodness!

Right now, I am going to congratulate myself on a job well done! Gold star me!

Because I like to add to my already inflated ego and sense of self, I have an obsession with checking my blog stats. I was looking to see which little nuggets of my wit and wisdom were read by the masses today, when I came across this: "spirit hoods are stupid".

I am not making this up! Someone typed that shit into google, and got my blog. Please please please, whoever searched for that, can we be friends?! I am absolutely ecstatic that there are other people in this world who see the pointless douchebaggery that are spirithoods. Again, if you wear spirithoods, you look like an asshat! The simple fact that someone legit typed in "spirit hoods are stupid" brings me more joy than a combination of a unicorn covered in chocolate and diamonds, Glee, watching Deena from the Jersey Shore fall, a Teen Mom marathon, and dare I say, a killer sale at Anthropologie! That is how amazing this is to me! I actually think I cried a little from all the joy! It's like a celestial light came down from heaven and a choir of a bajillion tiny baby angels started to sing and affirm that I have been right all along! What a joyous day!

Thank you to whomever typed that into google and then read my blog! I'm serious about being friends. I'm pretty sure that if you hate spirithoods, and I hate spirithoods, that we would get along swimmingly!


Sunday, 23 October 2011

In Which Good News, Hockey, and Confusion is Discussed

Good news!

Turns out I did not make an ass out of myself at the Oilers game last night. Although, I did make a comment how Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is practically a baby (he can't even claim to remember the '80's because he wasn't even born in the 80's...1993 people! I bet he's like those kids who have no idea who the Backstreet Boys, or the Spice Girls, or N'Sync sad) and looks like he's 12, and he may have heard me, but that's besides the point. I don't know for sure if he heard me, and if he did, he didn't let on and he played a really good game. I was also quite pleased that my somewhat rather limited knowledge of hockey came in handy! So I count that in the plus column. All I know is that A) I didn't fall and look like a complete idiot (I am going to thank my good friend, and fellow survivor for this, as I really just followed his lead), B) I looked semi-decent/cute and C) a whole shit ton of money was raised for the Cross Cancer Institute which is so super awesome! And D) that the Oilers beat the New York Rangers 2-0. All in all it was a pretty spectacular night if I do say so myself. AND they gave me a jersey which actually fits! That makes me beyond excited, especially because I am the size of your average 10 year old, and most standard jerseys don't fit. Seriously, you should see my soccer jersey. I couldn't even get one with my lucky number (18...random, I know). I was displeased at my unlucky genetic lot in life for that one.

I do have one thing about this night that confuses me. Apparently the Oilers have cheerleaders? I don't know why, but I am so confused by this. Why would a hockey team need cheerleaders? I mean, cheerleaders for football makes sense. They stand on the sidelines, cheer, and do dances and stuff at halftime. But, and correct me if I'm wrong, I just don't think that a hockey arena is a conducive environment for cheerleading. I mean, it's not like they can run out onto the ice and start dancing at half, and if they do, they have to wait for a carpet to be put down. Also, white go-go boots? Really, that's just kind of trashy. Also, purple pom poms clash with your blue and copper outfits. Again, I am just so perplexed by the whole thing.

Anyway, I would just like to say thank you to everyone who messaged me after they saw me on national television. I feel so very blessed and loved, and I can't thank everyone enough! I love you all!


Friday, 21 October 2011

I've Forgotten the Point of This. Awkward....

I will be the first to admit that I get unprecedented amounts of joy out of very simple things. Finding money in my pocket, eating the last mini cupcake (seriously, my sister made mini banana cupcakes with homemade cream cheese icing. They were so delicious. I think she was the one blessed with the cooking gene...somehow it skipped me or at least that's what I like to tell myself), finding a really super awesome sale, getting my hair cut, watching Glee. The list goes on and on. But one thing that gives me more joy than it probably should is watching Deena from Jersey Shore fall down.

It is probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and I know that I can count on her to fall at least 3 times an episode, if not more. She falls when she's drunk, she falls when she's sober, she falls when she is standing still, or moving. Seriously. Watching it makes me smile...a lot, and it makes me feel a little better about how incredibly clumsy I am. It's nice to know that there are other people in the world who sometimes have no idea where the bruises all came from. Case in point, this morning I woke and and got ready for work. As I was getting dressed, I noticed a huge bruise on my leg. I was so confused as to how it got there, and then I remembered that last night I ran into my bed frame. I am always bruised whether it is from soccer, or working, or from basically living. It probably also doesn't help that I bruise like a peach, and I tend to walk into things. I also think that this is an inherited trait because my sister also has the same uncanny ability to injure herself. She can be by herself walking down an empty hallway and still manage to hit a door frame.

This tendency to injure myself on an almost daily basis, coupled with my many allergies only further convinces me that I should really be living in a bubble. That way I wouldn't have to wake up in the morning and be like "well shit, where did that bruise come from?!". Barring that I think maybe I should learn to be more careful...but let's be serious, that's never going to actually happen.

On a side note, apparently I might be at centre ice tomorrow night at the Oilers game (vs. the Rangers) before the national anthem. I think it has something to do with Oilers wives, cancer and scarves. Not sure exactly how there is a correlation between the three, but I am interested to find out. On a the plus side, I get to take my dad on a date to a hockey game, with pretty decent seats. On the negative side, it means that I have to try extra hard not to make a complete ass out of myself, and make the ACF look bad. Again, why they think it's a good idea to keep having me go to events and such things is beyond me (for proof of this stay tuned for an updated video of yours truly getting her gangsta on). I think maybe it has something to do with the fact that they find me amusing? Or endearing? At least that is what I am going with. It's a good thing that there will be at 3 other survivors with me to detract from my awkwardness. Also, I think it might be a good idea to brush up on my hockey knowledge. Considering I have vast amounts of knowledge about a lot of various subjects, my knowledge of hockey is pretty basic. But one of the things I do know is that the Sedin twins are creepy (and I know that they play for Vancouver). Seriously, they are so incredibly creepy! I think it's their eyes, and the fact that I think that they would be like those velociraptors from Jurassic Park, where while you are focused on the one, the other is preparing itself to lunge at you and tear you to shreds! But I digress, and I have lost the point that I was going to make. Awkward. It's best if I just end it now. And Go.


Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Muesday: Why Do I Insist on Making a Fool of Myself?

...I think it's because I am actually a pretty awkward person, who often says things aloud that should really remain as internal dialogue. Case in point, Dr. Gow (a very respected and incredibly intelligent Medieval historian) shows up to class today with his motorcycle helmet and jacket. He greets everyone, who in various forms or another greet him back. My response: "Motorcycle! That's kind of badass!". I said it out loud. I thought that I was saying in my head. I should also probably mention that this is not one of those huge lecture classes. No, there are 10 people in the class. They all laughed at me. I mean really, it only makes him that much cooler in my eyes, but still, probably not the best salutation for someone who is going to be marking my term paper in a little over a month. Also, he gave me a funny look which I interpreted as meaning "I find you incredibly odd and slightly amusing, so I will tolerate your inane and often insane sounding comments. I will also do this because I am unsure as to how to respond to you". I confuse people. I get it. It just happens. I seem pretty normal on the surface, but then you get to know the REAL me, and seriously, I am a weirdo. I have no problem admitting that. Another case in point, yesterday I did a promotional type thing for the ACF for this super kickass fundraiser for breast health that will be in March (March 24th, kick it old school and Bust A Move...more to come on that), and instead of sticking to the script and being normal, I went gangsta. I was really just following one of my many mottos that when in doubt, go gangsta. Not even joking about this. Picture a very tiny white girl, breaking it down and quoting Run DMC and pretending she was living the thug life. Yes, I went there. I couldn't help it. I am surprised the ACF still wants to work with me on stuff because I was pretty ridiculous yesterday. Good thing Brooke and Sean haven't been scared off yet! They might regret befriending me...but that remains to be seen.

So, because I am feeling extra gansta as of late (apparently, and generally without me realizing it's happening), I am going to share with everyone an INCREDIBLE duet. Two great Canadian artists coming together in a marriage of musical worlds to produce sweet poetry! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you here, Listen, by Shaad & Dallas Green.

The two song album is amazing, and I highly recommend that everyone who has a shred of musical taste, go to iTunes and buy it. And GO!


P.S. Sorry this is a late post, but I was reading for a paper due Thursday that I have yet to start, which is also probably why I am a little crazier than normal tonight.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

You Done Got Owned Son!

I want to be Jason Statham. Or at least the female equivalent to Jason Statham. Seriously, he is so badass. Not only was he an Olympic Diver, but he was also in the SAS (stands for Special Air Service, part of the United Kingdom Special Forces). He knows all types of martial arts type moves, and gets to use guns, with silencers. Not to mention that the man can dodge a bullet, literally. Also, I should mention that I would love to drive a really really fast car. Seriously. I already have a bit of a love of driving fast (but really, I drive the speed limit all the time mum, I swear), although, I will admit, I am a much better driver than I used to be. But that Audi that he drives in the Transporter movies? Ya, I want to drive that car. Not that I don't love my little car (I also really love that the name of my car is a palindrome), and as good as my 155 horse power engine is, I think driving that car would be amazing. Jason Statham has it all. I don't really know who the female equivalent is. Maybe Maggie Q, who plays Nikita. She's pretty badass, not to mention I would also like to have her hair and shoe collection...that would be amazing. I think the only thing I could do without would be getting the crap kicked out of me on a regular basis. I think my size would make most fights pretty unfair, and both Jason's and Maggie's opponents tend to be rather large. Maybe I just think it would be sweet to be a spy or something in that career category. I think I would make a great spy! If CSIS ever needed someone to infiltrate a high school I would be a perfect candidate! I still look like I'm 17! Plus, there is the added perk of getting to use all those high tech gadgets!

If I had the same badass, ninja skills that Jason and Maggie have, I would never again have to deal with the fear of being alone in my own house after watching Criminal Minds. Think about it. If there was some kind of homicidal maniac breaking into your house with the aim of killing you and then mangling your body, you would totally be able to take them down, and you would be a hero because most likely they have killed thousands of other people. You will have saved the world from excessive stabbing! This just makes me wish I had paid more attention in that self defense class my mother made me take when I was like 12. At least that way I would have gained some useful life skills, that maybe would be able to aid me in changing my own tire (seeing as how I would have some serious strength from being such a badass), and would give me an edge if I ever get into a bar fight. Also I think having those skills will aid me in my plans to take over Russia. Just saying.

Watch your backs!


P.S. Thanks to Jeff for being the catalyst!

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Ladies: Keep Your Heels, Head, and Standards High. Gentleman: Stay Classy

Call me old fashioned, but I like a little romance. You know, when a guy asks out a girl and they go out a few times, and things are classy and cute and he opens doors and really tries to be funny and sweet. Unfortunately, I really don't think this exists anymore. I honestly think that technology has killed romance. What ever happened to the art of wooing? What ever happened to writing love letters and actually going to the post office and sending them? What ever happened to getting flowers just because someone thinks you're kind of cute and kind of awesome?! Seriously?! Facebook happened, and Twitter, and text messaging, and email. All those things combined killed romance. Am I asking for too much here?! I really don't think so. I honestly question what goes through some guys heads when they think they are being smooth. I'm sorry, if you ask me on a date via Facebook message, chances are I am going to laugh at you, and I will not respond. If you don't have the balls to ask me in person, you most certainly don't have the balls needed to actually go on a date with me. I will give anyone who has the guts to ask me out mad props, but only if it's legit. Over Facebook is kind of cowardly if you ask me. Plus, it's a lot easier for me to either say yes, or to let you down if you do it in person, or over the phone. That way I can take away your uncertainty quickly and efficiently, and there are no hard feelings. Also, you can think I am bitch right then and there and get over it a lot faster if the answer is no, rather than thinking I am a bitch forever and holding a grudge because I chose to ignore you. If you can't see me in person, at least call me and ask. None of this text message crap, and if you do make the mistake of asking someone out via text message, follow it up with a phone call to plan said date. Not only is it the polite thing to do, but it's also nice to see if you can actually hold a conversation with the person. The thing with texting and emailing is that people have more time to come up with something clever to say. Not that I am saying I am a genius, but I like to think that I have above average intelligence, and if I can't have a conversation with you, where you can keep up with me, then it's just not going to work. Having a phone conversation means neither of us are wasting our time. I hate wasting my time, and it's nice to know ahead of time if things are going to be awkward. Really, it's just common courtesy. Also, please don't ask me on a date when you are drunk. Chances are you won't remember it and I will have to remind you of it, which could be potentially humiliating for both of us.

Also, I have another bone to pick with some guys. I know that guys like things like boobs and bums and other parts of the female anatomy, but is it really too much to ask that you try to keep your eyes on my face when having a conversation with me rather than my boobs? Yes, I do know that they are fantastic. My plastic surgeon did quite a spectacular job rebuilding them for me, and it was a long road to recovery. I like them probably more than the average person because of what I had to go through to get them. I do appreciate the compliment of you thinking that they are also kind of awesome, but again, my face is a little farther north. Likewise, I most certainly am not wearing any trashy articles of clothing (I am classy and rarely, if ever, wear revealing clothing), nor are my boobs hanging out of my shirt, which makes it that much more obvious that you are trying, and failing, to covertly oggle them. It's nice that you think I look fantastic (again, I work very hard to stay in shape), but there are other fantastic things about me, along with my boobs. My eyes are kind of nice, and I have decent hair and skin, albeit a little pale due to my sun allergy. Gentlemen, if you are going to check out a girl, do it (because no matter how sly you think you are, girls can always tell) and then move on to her face and try to have a conversation with her. Her boobs will not be able to hold a conversation with you.

For the record, I am not some kind of crazy feminist or anything like that. I just like classy gentlemen who are willing to ask me on a date in person, and want to have a conversation with me perhaps over coffee. So gents, next time you pluck up the courage to ask a girl on a date, try to scrape together a little more, and ask her out in person. If that fails, give her a call. Chances are she'll be flattered and say yes. Just saying.


Monday, 10 October 2011

Muesday: "It Looks Like A Pterodactyl Out of a Gay Jurassic Park". I Love Tim Gunn

I have a new(ish) obsession. Project Runway. I have always loved it, but never religiously watched it...until now. Thanks to the magic of the interweb, I have discovered that I can watch every single episode of Project Runway ever made, including Project Runway Australia if I so desire. This is amazing! I honestly don't know what I did for entertainment before I figured out that I could watch things online! I no longer have to wait to hear the wonderful words of wit and wisdom of Tim Gunn, but I can watch them whenever I feel like it! This is magic! However, I must admit, my new obsession is probably not a good thing, because I find myself pulled away from reading about the persecution of minority groups in the 12th century, or Lepers, or the transformation of the European state system in the 18th and 19th centuries, and pulled towards my new(ish) love of Project Runway, and "make it work" moments (I also love to see what some designers consider to be fashion...taste isn't something you can buy people!). It fuels my love for bad television! Don't judge me, because I just can't help myself. Where else can you hear such memorable quotes as, "It looks like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park" (Tim Gunn, Season 5, Good Queen Fun)? No where. Watching this shows makes me love fashion more. It also makes me wish I wasn't such a failure at life, and that I could sew. Through watching Project Runway, I have realized that if I knew how to sew, I could save myself hundreds, no, THOUSANDS of dollars a year in what I spend on clothes (but at least I look good). The alternative is not shopping, which is not something I am prepared to do just yet. Anyway, if you haven't watched the amazingness that is Project Runway, you need to.

And now, here is your Muesday music! Hey Rosetta! is probably one of my FAVOURITE bands, and their newest album, is by far their best yet. They have that wonderful rock-ish vibe that I love so much. Also, they are one of the good things to come out of Newfoundland, other than cod, and wood (at least those were hot commodities in the 17th and 18th centuries), and they are keeping with my sharing great Canadian music theme. Today, I give you the title track off their newest album Seeds. Enjoy!

Happy Muesday!


Sunday, 9 October 2011

I'm Not Expecting, That's Just My Thanksgiving Food Baby

It's Thanksgiving (at least for us Canadians). It's a time to sit back and reflect on what you are thankful for. I have a pretty long list, but first and foremost, I am thankful that at dinner tonight, there was not a single dish that had the potential to kill me.

I have a lot of allergies (I am basically allergic to life, and I should really be living in a bubble), and many of them are to certain foods. Nuts, soy, certain fruits, peas, seeds, etc. It really makes eating like a game of Russian Roulette and quite the adventure, if you like games that have the potential to make you violently ill for 2 days that leaves you wondering why your body has all of a sudden decided to hate you. It also doesn't help that I am a very picky eater (I am actually one of those people who don't like the foods to touch on their plate...I blame my minor OCD problem). I am not a fan of sauces, or fish, or things made with heavy cream (I think I am slightly lactose intolerant from this), or foods that I have never tried, or ones with names I can't pronounce. There is a reason why my diet is limited to toast, and coffee. I am also a vegetarian, but not for ethical reasons, but because I really don't enjoy the taste or the texture of meat. But, there are 3 times a year that I will voluntarily eat turkey/chicken (usually I am forced to because my mother tells me that I look anemic): Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

It's Thanksgiving, and my mother cooked dinner. It was superb, as usual, and again, I must reiterate that I am very thankful that I could eat everything on the table. I don't expect people to cater to my dietary needs, but sometimes my family has this unfortunate tendency of forgetting the things I can't eat. For example, my mum will make a lovely spinach salad with almonds and fruit and sunflower seeds, and all sorts of other delicious things, and forget that I can't eat it, and wonder why I don't like her cooking. Not true. I would eat it, and spend the rest of the night curled up in a ball on my bed. Because of my no meat eating habits, they try to get protein in me anyway they can. My mum has this ridiculous blender called a Vitamix, which I think is actually a Transformer, and she and my sister tried to kill me with it this one time, by making me a smoothie made with protein powder, which contained soy (which I am not only allergic to, but which also fucks around with my cancer medication). I spent the entire next day itchy and sick. I saw my sister at school and told her about my allergies. She played dumb, and later told me "Ya, you know how you were sick the other day. It was because we put protein powder in your smoothie. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you would be mad". Um, yes, yes I was mad. That is why I am so happy that this Thanksgiving was nut free, soy free, almost dairy free, and all around delicious. It was also awesome because I didn't have to set foot in the kitchen, which could have ended in disaster.

All in all it was a fabulous Thanksgiving filled with excellent food, good friends, and most importantly, pie. I now have a food baby that looks like I could legit be expecting. Probably not a good thing, but oh well. It was so worth it. Now I can look forward to pie for breakfast, and my mum's homemade turkey soup!

Happy Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, 5 October 2011

I Think Someone Needs to Invent a Vaccine for 'Bieber Fever'

Let me set the record straight.

Just because Justin Bieber is Canadian, and because I'm Canadian, doesn't mean that I like him. In fact, I kind of actually loathe Justin Bieber...well, just his music, not him as a person because I have never met him. Sure he has a good story, growing up poor and getting discovered on YouTube by Usher, but let's be serious. He will perpetually be 12 and every time I look at him I want to take a pair of scissors to his hair. I don't understand why people love his music. I find it annoying, because it has that irritating tendency of getting stuck in your head and then all you can sing for days is "baby, baby, baby, oh...". Seriously. Someone needs to invent a vaccine for 'Bieber Fever'. Like what is it about him that makes him so special? Is he a Nobel Peace Prize winner? Did he invent an alternative to cold fusion? As far as I can tell, the only ability that he has, other than being semi-musically gifted, is that teenage girls practically throw themselves at him (I am a firm believer that he accomplishes this by sewing magnets into his clothes...think about it! It totally makes sense). I just don't get it! Also, he has an autobiography. He can't even shave yet, and he has a biography about how he makes grilled cheese and once got a bad haircut. Don't even get me started on his movie. What happened to artists doing movies full of cinematic integrity and quality, like Spice World (I am being sarcastic, but at least Spice World was entertaining). I honestly think that people need to chill out on this whole Justin Bieber thing. Plus, he wrecks everything. One of my favorite bands did a cover of his 'Baby' song. I died a little inside when I heard it....I will continue to dislike Justin Bieber...FOREVER!


Monday, 3 October 2011

Muesday: There's a First Time for Everything

There's a first time for everything. I can't believe I am about to say this, but I think history has failed me. This has never happened before, and I am at a loss. Normally I have no problem finding what I want. But this time, it's different, and you know what would be super awesome? If there was actual, legit literature published on what I want to write my Medieval Christendom & Others paper on. That would be just so fantastic. Am I really asking too much of medieval scholars? I really don't think so. All I want to do is write on the material aspect of othering and persecution in Medieval England. Like forcing the poor to wear Badges, and making Lepers wear rags/ring bells, maybe some regulations of how prostitutes were allowed to dress (by making them live near the river and wear yellow veils), or the badging of other minority groups. It's not like I'm asking for the moon here! All I want are some solid secondary sources, which will in turn lead me to some juicy primary sources. Seriously, why can't it just be awesome like the early modern period? Why can't I have all my lovely statutes wrapped up in a nice, red leather bound book, or in a handy pdf version (seriously, the Statutes of the Realm between Henry VII and James VI & I are my favorite)? Hmmm?! Seriously. Anyone who does research of any kind will know what it's like to have a super badass, awesome paper topic, that is, dare I say, slightly on the original side, only to be thwarted by a lack of sources. I always knew there was a reason why I never dealt with the Medieval period! I always knew there was a reason I don't look at anything before 1450! Now, I am going to have to grasp at straws to find the information I want. I am either a genius for picking such a cool topic, or a fool because (and as I suspected) there is scant information on it. Sadface....It's like Simon Schama (my favourite British Bobble Headed man/art historian) once said:

"Historians are left forever chasing shadows, painfully aware of their inability ever to reconstruct a dead world in its completeness however thorough or revealing their documentation.... We are doomed to be forever hailing someone who has just gone around the corner and out of earshot."

I am going to pout about this a little more, or at least until I mine some of my sources, and hopefully I can find that little thread that will lead me down the right path. Until then, here is Muesday.

So, following in the vein of the last couple Muesday's here is another, amazing Canadian group. They are out of Vancouver and I am completely and utterly in love with them, even though they haven't really had anything new come out for quite some time (well, probably not that long...I think I am just impatient). This week, I give you Said the Whale. The song is called Love is Art/Sleep Through Fire, and it is probably one of my most favourite songs. I just love everything about it, the lyrics, the melody, everything. I know that they have been given air time, and have quite a substantial fan base, but honestly, it's not big enough. Enjoy.


Saturday, 1 October 2011

One Word: Boobs!

This is totally safe for work!

October is kind of a big month for me. There are a lot of things that happen/happened that have really kind of defined me.

First and foremost, October is big because I have now accomplished one the biggest, scariest things I have ever had to face (and yes, it was scarier than cancer). I basically took all my self doubt and uncertainty and pushed it aside and wrote the LSAT. If you told me 2 years ago that I would have had a complete and utter existential crisis, and do a complete 180 from what I wanted my future to be, I would have laughed at you. But here I am, with my new-ish life plan, and I can now say I have written the LSAT. And to be perfectly honest, it really wasn't that bad. There was one point, where I got stuck on a logical reasoning question, where I began to panic, where I began tearing myself down, telling myself that I wasn't smart enough, but then, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, picked myself up and moved on. I really think the LSAT is actually made out to be a lot worse than it actually is, kind of like 'it's bark is worse than it's bite' type deals. You could literally feel the stress pouring off people this morning, each clutching their clear, ziploc bag holding the allowable items, like it was a life raft and they were on a sinking ship. There is really nothing more I can do now but wait until my score comes in. If I didn't get what I wanted, then I'll rewrite and it's no big deal, and if I did, then I will be the first person to congratulate myself, by probably buying myself something expensive. But honestly, I am celebrating my small victory tonight. I am celebrating by laying on my bed, watching reruns of Project Runway, and shopping for books online. It doesn't sound like much, but for me, it's exactly what I need

Second, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I will say this, sometimes I get a little cranky with Breast Cancer Awareness month, mostly because I feel like it's just a constant reminder of what happened to me. I don't need to be reminded. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I am reminded. My scars will be with me forever, and that is reminder enough. But while I get cranky, I can't lose sight of what Breast Cancer Awareness month means for other people. It's for people who have been affected by breast cancer in any way, and I see it as a way of giving back. I am huge advocate of raising breast awareness. It's why I love the work that I do with the Alberta Cancer Foundation so much. I love that my story helps to raise awareness, and when I think about that, all my crankiness fades away, because at the end of the day, it's not about me. It's about everyone. Also, who doesn't love boobs? This is a month entirely dedicated to boobs. That's kind of awesome.

Lastly, October is big because it is the month when my life changed. I was diagnosed on October 28th, 2009, and this year I will be celebrating my 2 year Cancerversary. People give me funny looks when I say this. They don't understand why I want to celebrate the day I was diagnosed with cancer. And, yes while I don't like to be constantly reminded, I do feel like I need, no HAVE, to remember this day. This is the day that I chose to live. This is the day that I chose to survive, and be a better person, and to try and make a difference in the world. I celebrate this day like I celebrate my birthday, because I kind of see it like a second birthday. Not in that I get presents or anything, although, I do enjoy a good cupcake and I never say no to presents, but because it signals another year that I get to be a better person. I have decided that this year, I have to do something completely fabulous and badass, but I just don't know what. I am stumped. Last year, I had the best celebration, with someone who holds a special place in my heart. This year won't even come close to topping it, but I don't want it to. I want every year that I celebrate to be special in it's own right. I need to come up with something spectacular, and maybe a little out of character. It's a good thing the LSAT is done because now I can focus on what it is I want to do.

Also, let me just say this. I am excited for it to be October because maybe now my life will be less crappy? Maybe just maybe?