Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Muesday: Keeping It REAL Classy Edmonton

So, this is a real thing: Northsiders

Apparently this new reality show idea based in Edmonton is supposed to be like a Jersery Shore meets Geordie Shore with oil riggers and cougars. Not only does it negate any culture that credibility that Edmonton has, but it's horrific! I, and I'm sure most Edmontonians are as well, am completely unaware of this great divide between north and south. Not to mention, the type of people that they are looking for are completely unrepresentative of what Edmonton actually is. We are not all oil field workers and tradespeople, or Cougars looking for a good time. I think the one that gets me the most is the hairstylist. And I quote:

"The hair stylist: he’s an 18-24-year old gay dude who works at a high-end northside salon (or similar) – hates classic rock, ‘rig-pigs’, & everything about most of the people in this group. They have absolutely nothing in common"

This leads me to think that the people making this have no actual knowledge of Edmonton. Do they not know that there are no "high-end northside salon's"? You will only find those if you go super north into St. Albert. And let's be serious, who in their right mind would actually put themselves through this? If you have nothing in common with anyone, why in God's name would you stay in that situation?! I know for an absolute fact that if I knew of someone who was going to be on this show, I would publicly mock them.

Keeping it REAL classy Edmonton.

Some of you might know who Taylor Momsen actually is. You might know her as the adorable and precocious Cindy-Lou Who, or as Jenny Humphrey from the CW's Gossip Girl. Like this:

You might also know her as the front woman for the rock band The Pretty Reckless. She now looks like this:

Now, don't be fooled by her prosti-tot image, she actually has some talent, and if you're into the who rock and roll, kind of angry girl thing, then you might just like their music. I went to Roger Waters last night, and needless to say I have been in a very rock and roll mood ever since. Despite the fact that she looks like a lady of the night or someone you would find on Craigslist Connections and then promptly avoid because she looks like someone who would rob you and then beat you senseless, The Pretty Reckless are actually pretty good.  Momsen's raspy vocals give them that edge that many female fronted rock groups today are missing (at least according to me). Not to mention, it's refreshing to see an actress turned musician not do the whole bubblegum pop thing, because let's face it, the one thing the world doesn't need more of is sugary sweet pop music. I swear to you, if I have to hear that annoying Call Me Maybe song one more time, I might just hurt someone. Anyway, enjoy Hit Me Like a Man, by The Pretty Reckless.


Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Muesday: PC-1, Leah-Hammer

I got an ominous phone call from one of my many doctors today. I hate those. Apparently she wants to discuss my blood work. "Don't worry," she says, "everything is okay". Ya, that's what you said that one time and I ended up having cancer. I don't understand why  phone calls like that have to exist. All they do is make people stress and worry needlessly which leads to grey hairs and wrinkles, and I don't know about everyone else, but I quite like looking youthful thank you very much. It's also such a pain in my ass. Now I have to leave work early and trek it all the way to Beaumont to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of other sick people. Gross.

Also annoying, PC's. And no, I'm not talking about progressive conservatives(but they are just as annoying). I'm talking about those antiquated and frustrating machines that often run Window's programs. In my humble opinion, PC stands for 'Piece of Crap' and not personal computer. More like my own personal demon put on this earth to frustrate, anger and annoy me. I kid you not. I was this close to taking a hammer to my desktop last night. Normally I do everything off my lovely little Mac, which runs like a dream come true and never gives me a problem. But I swear to God. It's like the PC desktop I own has a personal vendetta against me. Not only is it the loudest running beast I've ever heard, but it's also the slowest thing I've ever had to deal with. I hardly use it because it's not worth the spike in my blood pressure, but there are those odd times where we square off in battle and it usually wins.

If you can't already tell that I'm a tad on the cranky side today. If you haven't picked up on that, then you're obviously not as astute as thought you were. My mistake. It's just been a shitty, grey raining day. All I wanted to do today was stay at home with a hot mug of tea and a good book. I didn't want to have to go out in the cold and the rain, or fight with my computer or have my doctor call. But, something that did make my day better was this brand spankin' new song by Sara Bareilles called Sweet As Whole off her new EP out today. Now, from interviews that I have seen her do, she has a mouth like a sailor, and as someone who also tends to swear quite a bit, I love it. But her music doesn't usually contain many swears and is always lovely. But this song is quite the departure. She says it so eloquently, and this just makes me love her more. So enjoy Sweet As Whole (you'll totally get this title when you hear this song) off her new EP Once Upon Another Time.

Happy Muesday!


Saturday, 19 May 2012

As Per My Increased Rage, I Can See You're A Dumb-ass

Always assume this

You know what one of my favourite things in the world is? And by favourite I mean actually drives me up the wall? People who don't answer your questions. Why is that so difficult? Is it because literacy rates are declining at an alarming rate? Is is sheer laziness? General apathy? Here's the deal; I am going to tell you how to make me really upset, so you can all avoid doing this, thereby saving yourselves from pain and woe and having to read my rants about my continued loss of faith in humanity. Here's the scenario:

I email/call you/a business with an inquiry about a product or a service, or a feature that I have seen on your website. I give you a day or two to get back to me before I start with the ever so annoying follow up phone calls and emails, because I think "hey, maybe they're busy so it's totally understandable that they haven't gotten back to me". An inordinate amount of time passes, in which I have sent at least 2 follow up emails with the same questions as before, and I have called you at least 3 times, which means that you get to hear the dulcet tones of my growing impatience and annoyance on your answering machine. Then, you finally deign to respond to my original inquiry without so much as an apology for making me wait/excuse as to why you fail as a human being. But, and herein lies the rub, in your response to all of my carefully asked and well thought out questions, you send me a picture. A FREAKING PICTURE THAT ANSWERS NONE OF MY QUESTIONS. In my mind I am questioning how you have managed to do this. Can't you read? Do you not see my itemized and bulleted list of questions? Are you blind? Are you Amish and don't really have much access to technology? At this point, I have come to the conclusion that you are a giant idiot, and my patience has worn out. This now means that I have to actually speak to you on the phone because you were too dumb to figure out how to answer questions via email. I get you on the phone, where you then proceed to refer to said picture you sent me, expecting me to just magically know the exact dimensions and options of whatever I am asking you about, using phrases like "as per the photograph I sent you, you can see..." You know what I can see? I can see that you are a giant, lazy ass douche canoe, and I am so done with this conversation. At this point, I become uber polite, and my voice raises at least 2 octaves, and becomes super saccharine. We then end the conversation, and I tell all my coworkers/friends/the entire internet that you're a complete and utter moron. The end.

So, if you ever get yourself into a similar situation, take a moment and reflect. Answering questions isn't that hard. It literally takes 30 seconds, and if you don't know the answer, send a quick note saying so and that you will look into it and get back to me in a reasonable amount of time. You will save yourself a lot of pain, woe, and public shaming.

Until next time...


Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Muesday: The Only Good Thing About Being An Adult Are the Clothes

Remember that time I was all "being an adult is overrated, what is this garbage?!". Well dear friends, I have found one upside to having a legit adult/real person job. I get to dress up. It's quite fun! Normally my clothes are rather dressy and I have to think of inventive ways to make them look more casual, but now that I work in an office setting, I can wear all my cute fancy clothes and shoes, and ruffles and polka dots! That's a huge plus in my book. This and the whole having a steady income thing are basically the only good things about having a real person job. But that's just me. Don't get me wrong, I really like my job and all the people I work with, it's just that I am exhausted all the time. Also, I wish it was acceptable to wear Lululemon to work every day. That would be amazing.

Today's Muesday is short and sweet, mostly because I am illicitly writing this at work on my lunch break. Shhh, don't tell. You know those times when you are on iTunes trying to see if any of your favourite bands have new music and you come across an artist that you have never even heard of before and then you end up loving them, and becuase of your slight obsessive compulsive personality, proceed to listen to them on repeat for the next three weeks? Ya, I had one of those times a couple weeks ago when I discovered Wolf Gang. Don't confuse this with Wolfgang, like Wolfgang Amadeaus Mozart, or that album by Pheonix. I don't even really know how to describeWolf Gang, other than the fact that I can't seem to get enough. I'll let you decide who and what they sound like, so here is The King And All Of His Men by Wolf Gang off of their album Suego Faults.

Happy Muesday!


Sunday, 13 May 2012

Word to Your Mother: A Thank You to My Mum on Mother's Day

My mother is a very important person in my life. Her hugs always have the ability to make everything better, and she is hilarious, and sometimes says mildly inappropriate things which I love. She is the best cook, and makes a mean turkey lasagne, and is (mostly) patient with me and the fact that I can't cook. She's the perfect person to go shopping with, and she is always honest, even though I might not like what she has to say. Yes, we have our moments, but I think that's just because we are so alike. It's like adding gunpowder to fire. But the important thing is that we always kiss and make up. She is amazing at what she does, and I know that she would do an amazing job at running my life if I would let her. This post is for her today. It's a thank you post for all that she has done for me, and all the unconditional love she has given to me:

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for showing you care. Thank you for the nice warm hug. Thank you for the words of love. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for going the extra mile. Thank you for your listening ear. Thank you for letting me shed a tear. Thank you for your gentleness. Thank you for your tenderness. Thank you, thank you, wonderful you.

Happy mothers day mum. I love you. Forever and always.


Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Muesday: Pardon My Senility

I just had a moment. Here I am, sitting on the couch watching my PVR'd episode of America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, when I realized that I have yet again had a blog fail. Holy shit, I forgot all about Muesday. Pardon my senility, but I have no idea where my head is at. Seriously! This whole having to act and be like a real adult is really throwing me for a loop. Either that, or I have some kind of degenerative brain issue that makes me forget all about everything. Granted, I was a little preoccupied with other things last night that I can't talk about, so don't ask, but still. There's no excuse for me forgetting all about my favourite day, and hopefully yours too. So, without further adieu and because there is a strong possibility that I might forget what I was going to post, here is your Muesday.

I first heard of The Pierces a couple years ago when one of their songs was featured on Gossip Girl. I thought the song was kind of creepy and promptly forgot all about them. Then, a couple weeks ago, I was at Coldplay, and they were one of the opening acts. All I can say is that I am really sorry for not giving them more thought a couple years ago, because holy crap I love them. They have this really old school Age of Aquarius/The Mama's and the Papa's feel to them that I just love. They are kind of like The Donna's minus the more rock and roll feel (don't worry, I'll feature The Donna's eventually). So, here is Kissing You Goodbye by The Pierces off of their album You & I. 

Sorry again for my blogging fail! I hope you all have an awesome rest of your week!


Sunday, 6 May 2012

Being An Adult Is Overrated

I've decided that being and acting like a real, legit adult, is really cutting into my free time. I have a real person job now...kind of. Anyway, what this means is that by the time I fight rush hour traffic in the morning downtown, and then fight it again on the way home from work, I am utterly exhausted, and too tired to do many of the things that I love, like blogging and reading. All I have the energy for is to sit, and do jack shit, and maybe if I get an extra spurt of energy, paint my nails. What is this garbage? Aren't there perks that come with being and acting like a real adult? What are all these things called "responsibilities" that people keep talking about. If this is what the real world is like, I can honestly say, that I am more than happy to go and get another degree. The real world sucks. You are always a slave to the clock, you have to actually go out and talk to people and be nice to them and then you have to deal with all your personal shit afterward. It's exhausting! When I hear kids talking about how they can't wait to be an adult, I actually want to slap them. Kids don't know how good they've got it. All they have to worry about is who has a crush on who, who you're going to play with, and what park you are going to play at. They don't have to worry about bills, and work and other shit. If I could, I would go back and tell my 8 year old self to actually make the most of childhood, rather than wishing to get older.

I'm too tired to write more. My bed is calling my name before I start the vicious cycle of adulthood all over again tomorrow.


Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Muesday: Parents, Heed My Advice

Oh, I know I have been so negligent of my lovely little blog as of late, but let me tell you, being on vacation is bad for blogging. It's bad because you get all relaxed, and there is a lack of clocks and all you want to do is try and get a tan despite the ugly red allergic reaction slowly spreading over your entire body. Hawaii was wonderful, and I miss the warmth already. 13 degrees is a far cry from the 26 that Maui had. But while I am sad to leave paradise, I am also glad to be home. I was getting sick of eating restaurant food all the time. Plus, I was exhausted after the 2 days we spent in Honolulu. Never again will I go to Honolulu. It was a hellish nightmare. If Dante had imagined another circle of hell, Honolulu would be it. Perhaps it's just because I don't really like crowds of people, or people in general for that matter, but that combined with the heat, and the fact that it is basically a huge party town (I am not a huge partier), but I couldn't stand Honolulu. If you want a relaxing Hawaiian vacation, don't go there. Go to Kauai or the Big Island, or Maui. Go somewhere where there are more beaches than there are skyscrapers. I can guarantee you that you will have a better time.

I also want to take a moment to address something. Why the hell do people feel the need to bring their infants with them on vacation?! It's not like the kid is going to remember it. But I an tell you who will remember it: everyone on an airplane who has to listen to your freaking toddler cry and scream and talk and sing and who kicks the seat in front of them and runs up and down the aisles, disrupting everyone around them. What's worse are the parent's who think that this is "so fun" and "precious" that their darling child is taking their first trip. Don't be an asshole and discipline your child. Tell them to stop being mini douche canoes and to sit still and not talk and touch things with their sticky fingers. Parents, leave your children at home if they are under 5 for goodness sake. On the flight home, I had not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 small children surrounding me. Two of them were just fine, and well behaved and quiet. I liked those kids. But not the ones behind me who felt the need to pull and push on my seat, and cry and scream and squirm around, making it next to impossible to get any sleep. Did I mention that this was an overnight flight? Needless to say, I was less than impressed. If you have to take your child on an airplane, give them something to make them quiet. I am not above drugging small children to sleep. Half a gravol and they're good to go. They become quiet and well rested, which hopefully translates to well behaved, and not a little monster. Does this make me a terrible person? Probably, but I know I am not the only person in the world who feels this way. Parents, take note. You're welcome.

For today's Muesday, I thought I would share with you a song from a band out of Pennsylvania called Good Old War. I just can't get enough of their newest album. I basically listened to it on a continuous loop the entire time I was away. They just have such a mellow sound, with that singer/songwriter element that I love so much. So here is Over and Over off of their newest album  Come Back As Rain. 

Happy Muesday!