Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Muesday: Time Is A Very Fluid Concept for Me

Anyone who knows me on any level knows that time is a very fluid concept for me. Lateness is a chronic problem. I know it's terrible, and I know that I should try harder to be on time, but it's just so difficult. I'm usually at least 10 minutes late for anything, rushing in breathlessly, with a Starbucks latte in my hand, purse flying about me, and my giant sunglasses perched precariously on my head (wow, that sounds kind of glamorous...I assure you, it's not). My chronic lateness is why all of my clocks are fast. There have been countless people who have been in my car, looked at the clock and freaked out because of the time. My response: "Oh don't worry, that's not right. My clock is 23 minutes fast". Nothing says trying to be on time like arbitrary numbers. But the problem with setting all my clocks fast, is that I inevitably figure it out, and that just sees me saying "oh, I have 23 minutes, that's loads of time". This is a problem and I feel slightly bad about it. It's a good thing The Boy has infinite amounts of patience (and believe me, patience is something that anyone needs when around me). He came with me to a BBQ last week, and I was an hour late going to get him. He was awesome though, and rewarded what I hope is my endearing lateness and cuteness with a present. And not just any present. A monogrammed, lavender Cambridge Satchel. Just because. I still don't understand how someone so awesome has the wherewithal to deal with me on a daily basis. I'm not complaining.

So, how about those Olympics? Can I make a confession right now? I actually like the Winter Olympics much better than the Summer Olympics apart from the soccer, which they don't show, which is infuriating and makes me want to throw things!? How can you not televise the best sport in the world?! It's mind boggling! Granted they do show most of the qualifying rounds. But with that being said, I am quite enjoying them. Mostly because I think that the athletes are amazing, and for the male swimmers and divers...also the water polo players. Holy crap! They have THE NICEST bodies I have ever seen. It's insane!!!! Anyway, to celebrate these lovely London Olympics, I am sharing with you an artists straight out of West London. Lady Sovereign is kind of amazing because she is an artist in a style of music that is dominated by men. I also adore her because she's little just like me. So enjoy My England, of of Lady Sovereign's album Public Warning.

 Until next time lovelies!

 xoxo Leah

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Muesday: Okay, I'll Pretend For Just A Little Longer

I really feel as if I am only pretending to be an adult. I can deal for a little while and do adult things and make adult decisions, and pay bills, and have grown up conversations about politics and economics and that whole Eurozone crisis and stuff. But at the end of the day I don't think I will ever be a real adult. I mean, I'm the size of your average 12 year old, and the simple fact of the matter is half the time I just can't deal with all the grown up things, when all I really want to do is have nap time back. I think my existential crisis is back....so that's fun.

Also, I just have to say that massages are perhaps one the creepiest things in the world. Both the regular kind and the "happy ending" kind. So so creepy! Almost as creepy as those unborn fetus goo-baby pictures that expectant parents feel the need to post all over facebook/twitter. But seriously, is anything more awkward or creepy, than laying prone on a table, covered in gross, slimy oils, and having some stranger touch you?! I know there are scores of people out there who will vehemently disagree with me, but just take a minute to think about it...I bet the conclusion you draw is "ya, Leah, you're right, it's actually pretty creepy". The Boy goes all the time (mostly because his work pays for it), and he has been trying to convince me to go forever, but I just can't bring myself to do it. In my mind, something that is supposed to be so wonderful and relaxing shouldn't cause anxiety, and/or hives.

So, I can't take credit for the song that I am sharing today. It comes courtesy of Refinery 29, and it's kind of awesome. It's by Paloma Faith and it's called Picking Up the Pieces and it's kind of amazing. It's like if Adele and Duffy had a love child and her name is Paloma Faith. The whole album is pretty awesome from what I've listened to and I highly recommend it. Also how awesome is the video to this song! It's has such an awesome vintage feeling to it! Enjoy lovelies!

Until next time!


Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Muesday: Bitches Be Crazy

Hello my doves! Sorry it's a late one today! I literally just walked in the door! I was busy getting all pretty! After 7 months and a lot of hmmm-ing and haw-ing, I decided to ombre my hair, and get a trim. I know I know, you're all thinking, "why the hell is she telling me this, I don't really give two shits about that", and to be quite honest, it's really the only thing I have to talk about right now. Mostly because I don't think that what I really want to talk about would be wise. But I'll give you a phrase that basically sums it up:

Bitches be crazy.

Ya, that's right. Bitches be crazy. And that's really all I can say. I'm really sorry that this is such a lack luster post. I just a) need to calm down, and b) need to go to bed. I promise I'll be at least somewhat witty tomorrow...or the next day. Until then, enjoy this music as a gift!

Last week, one of my favourite Canadian bands, Jets Overhead, came out with a new album. And it's amazing! I can't get enough of it. So without further adieu and because I am super sleepy, here is Boredom and Joy, off of their new album titled the same. Also, can I just say that it's awesome that the album cover is hot pink.


Thursday, 12 July 2012

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Guess what every body?! Lopsided is one year old today! Happy birthday to my little blog!

It's funny to think about all the changes a year can bring. I started this blog as a way to get out of my head, and as a way to heal myself. I started it at a time when I felt as if nothing was going to go right and that I would be unlucky in life and love for the rest of my life. I was truly in the depths of despair, or at least that's how I felt. But time is awesome because it gives you perspective. Now, a year later, I am able to take a step back and see how all the things that happened during that period of time that I like to call a shit storm, happened for a reason. Not only am I not unlucky, but I can recognize that I am actually pretty darn lucky, and that I should appreciate it. I needed to have my existential crisis (I'm still going through it somewhat, just not as much), and I needed to have my heart ripped out of my chest, put in a blender with some tequila and then served to me in a glass rimmed with salt (I like to call it a heartbreak margarita). It helped me grow and be a different person...and more badass.

So, I would just like to take a moment and say happy birthday little blog! Thanks for being exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it. You're the best! As long as people keep reading, I will keep writing, and I would probably keep writing even if people didn't read it anymore. What can I say, I like the sound of my own voice!


Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Muesday: Curb Your Stupidity Please

It's so super hot here! Yesterday with humidity it was like 40 degrees celcius. All I can say is that I am super happy that my house is air conditioned. I also have to say that I feel really bad for all the people in America Land who are without power and in the sweltering heat. Apparently some woman tried to bake cookies in her car and succeeded? That's insane. However, considering that we live in almost perpetual winter, I am not going to complain about it! Also, one thing that I have an issue with in this heat is leaving pets and children in cars. Seriously, don't do it. They will die. People are stupid and actually do this. It's never okay to leave children and/or pets in such high temperatures. Come on people, let's try to curb the stupidity in these warm temperatures!

One thing that is actually a pretty big deal to me when deciding to date someone is their taste in music. If they have terrible taste in music, no dice. I mean, I think that I have pretty decent musical tastes, but I also know that some of what I listen to is not for everyone. But, if you think that we can have a conversation over LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I know It" you've got another thing coming. And while I also have a secret shameful love of some country music, I just couldn't date someone who is a fan of all the dime a dozen twangers out there. Like a sense of humor, I need whoever I'm dating to like good music. And by good music, I am talking about artists who actually play their own instruments and who write and sing their own songs, with very little, if any auto tune. It's important for me to be able to talk about all the music I like, and to share that music with someone else. I likewise really enjoy finding out what other people listen to. It's like a window into their personality. So what prompts this little piece about music? Well, first of all it's Muesday, and second of all, because I am super fortunate to be dating someone who has superb taste in music. The Boy gets a giant gold star for this. It's actually one of the things that I initally found so attractive about him, that and his passion for music. Through him I have been introduced to some truly amazing artists, and ones that I have legit never heard of before because he the teensiest bit of a hipster and listens to really obscure British bands. He is currently obssessed with British artist, Richard Hawley. And I must say, he is amazing! The perfect blend of Frank Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr and just all the things that are good about music. So now I kind of have a mad love for Richard Hawley too, and I am going to share Coles Corner with you all today off of his 2005 album Coles Corner. I hope you all fall in love with Hawley just like I did.


Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Muesday: Storm's A Brewin

I don't know if many, if any, of you remember this, but a couple years ago, in a rare stroke of wit and brilliance, MTV produced a lovely little show called Clone High. Basically, the premise of the show is a board of shadowy government figures decided that they wanted to conduct a military experiment and clone famous dead people. You get the likes of Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, JFK, Gandhi, and a whole slew of other historical figures. When this show first came out I was ecstatic. As someone who from a very young age lived and breathed history for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and who did, and still laments the fact that history gets a bad rap for being only about dates and dead people, I felt that FINALLY, history could get it's place in the sun! I felt that while wildly entertaining and more than just slightly inappropriate, Clone High made history a little more accessible to people, and would perhaps pique someones interest to go and learn more.  It was amazing, and really, how could it not be, with the genius that is Will Forte from Saturday Night Live voicing the character of Abe Lincoln. My one friend and I watched it religiously. We could quote episodes word for word and laughed at all the little jokes most people aren't smart enough to understand. It was wonderful. And then, just like that, it was gone. Gone were the guest appearances by a street wraith that looked suspiciously like Mandy Moore, Marilyn Manson, Jack Black, and most importantly, John Stamos. Gone were the witty jokes, and teen angst. Gone were the musical numbers about how "Gandhi has ADD". I was crushed. My beloved Clone High was taken off the air because India got all up in arms about the way Gandhi was portrayed. I get it. I get that he's like THE saint of saints. I get that he basically threw off the shackles of colonial rule through peaceful resistance, and how he introduced a form of national dress made from khadi fabric, and brought the dhoti back in style. I get it. But why you gotta be hating on something that was intended for a North American audience? I mean, the US didn't even get to see the last 5 episodes, which is such a shame because Prom Night in the Meat Locker is a fantastic end to the series (it's exactly how it sounds folks).

So what prompts this post about a show that was on 10 years ago? Well for one thing, I really miss it and I am in a Clone High laugh until I cry kind of mood, and second of all, because it's raining, and I mean really raining. The rain reminds me of this one episode where there is this huge storm and Joan of Arc's adoptive blind elderly black clarinet playing father Toots says "Storm's a-brewing Joany!" and then Joan and Toots have to go live with Cleopatra and her alcoholic adoptive mother, who Toots then starts dating and there is bondage involved (I couldn't make this up even if I tried). That's what I think of when there is a storm. That's how big an impact Clone High has had on my life.

All of you should now run out and buy the one and only season that exists. 

I'd shake your hand, but you know, peanut arms! Now on to Muesday!

The long weekend has come and gone, and Canada turned 145 years old. Over the long weekend, I basically did what I said I was going to do: relax and not wear real pants. It was glorious. It also means that I listened to a lot of chill music, and rediscovered my love of Fleet Foxes. I listened to their last album probably 50 times over a three day span, and it was just the perfect music for the sun and summer. I'm still running on my Fleet Foxes high, so I am going to share with you all Lorelai off of Helplessness Blues.